Neuroses Revisited, Chapter 3

I am working on a series of architectural abstracts.
I love goemetry.
It is safe.
It is a haven.
It is a safe "Play Pen" in which to experiment.
And yet because of the purest line, I find myslef trying to replicate the perfection that exists within the structure rather than boldly letting the paint fly and represent - or MISrepresent the original piece.

Damned in the doing
Damned in the doing not.

The circles in my mind go round and round and round and round.

Paint this,
Do not paint this...it is wrong.
Do this... do it not, for no one will grok it.
Care not if others grasp, or grasp not; the impetus, the elan.
Just do.
Just be.

Just BE.

Permit yourself to exist.

As you are, right this moment.

And breathe.
Exhale paint.
For so has God apparently ordained you to be in this single moment.

Who then am I, to deny the handi-work of the Almighty?
Do I say "curse this thing that you have made?"

Does the pot say to the potter, "You screwed up, dude?"
(Make that Dude with a Capitol 'D')

Or do I step out in risk, and Be.
Just Be.

The mental/emotional gymnastics make me want to puke.

It is the demonic rollercoaster.
The rollerscoaster from hell.
Aka, "work."
Aka "Art."