Celts cavort in the fire lit winter night

So I was awakened in the middle of the night,by the image of flames, dancing onto the wall from outside my window.
I threw the curtain open the rest of the way and what did I see?
The boys (BlanDrewNolanEmery)burning the old futon in the fire pit.
I watched them cavort around the fire, pouring gas onto it, and I secretly wondered if any of them were wearing nylon fabrics?
And then to my shock and horror, I watched one of them actually JUMP into the firepit, onto the burning mattress and off again, sending a tower of flames skyward.
It was at this point I realised that I would not be going to bed any time soon this evening.
Eventually around 2am-ish, they began to settle, and actually sit around the fire.
I thought to myself: "Well, there are enough of them now, so if one falls in the fire, the others can drag him free, roll him in the snow while the other one calls 911. There is precious little difference I can make now, by staying awake, other than yelling at them, "hey you boys quit swinging that gas can around over the fire!"
They're just going to say "ok ma."
And then laugh, and keep doing it
.
I was a little bit alarmed to wake in the morning and see the fire still burning, albeit low. Apparently it has been smoldering all day.
It WAS and old, waterlogged futon, after all.


Addendum: it is still burning.

What are you going to do when you get old...?

So my daughter asked me today: "Mom, what are yougoign to do when you get old?"
"Die," says I. "I think thats what most people do when they get old."
"No!" she says. before you die. While you are being old?"
"well", I replied, "that will depend somehwat upon what daddy wants to do, but, at some point,
I could see myself downsizing and living in an apartment. If I can afford it eventually, I will choose a nice assisted living facility, with nursing home options."
She says, "Oh no! Yo can't go into a nursing home, because then we couldnt have Christmas or holidays with you!"

"Well of course you could, you would jus tcome and pick me up at thye nursing home and
bring me to your place."

"Oh no!" she says."That would just be too weird! We are supposed to come to your house for Christmas and stuff!"


(*sigh*)
I can see that my work here on earth, is not yet done - at least from a teaching persepctive.
And is this even a thing you can teach?

To be honest, when I become demented and old, I really do NOT want to go and live wiht my kids - much as I love then - - and much because of how MUCH I love them...I would prefer to crawl out into the woods, into the snow and die like a cat who goes off at "dying time."
What is life that we should cling so hard to it when the elderly day of departure might arrive to take us home? No.
]I know my God. I know my Saviour and more importantly, He knows me.
He knows my vileness, and foibles(aka "sin") And He has provided his own remedy for
blotting out my imperfections. To leave this world - in HIS appropriate time - will be like a "Graduation" to bigger and better things.

Today...when I think of cancer (and these are hypothetical and transitory thoughts - which I retain the right to change at a moments notice with no warning - when I think of cancer, I think:
"will I choose to take a treatment? After all, this could be my only ticket at escaping livign too long." I don't want to miss it and be stuck here, dwindling in ill health. Maybe that is arrogant. Now that I see it in print, it is quite possibly a self centered and arrogant attitude. I will have to think more on this. After all, my life is not about me, or my wants, goals or desires. that is one thing that struck me about observing Jesus. The way He lived was not about himself, but it was about other people. People can say what they want about me. I care less and less each day. Screw 'em, What I really want, is to live like Jesus, but to do so is a heart wrenching, gut breaking excersize in agony every day. And it makes me appreciate who He is, and what He came to do, even more.

You know its cold when...

...when the woodstove can't even heat the entire house without a little help from the electric heat. Which I normally do not use -its too expensive. If I were to use electricity to heat this house in a normal January/February, it would take about $400 a month. There is No way I am paying that. But I hear a warming trend is on the way. We may be up to 32 by Saturday. Awesome! Time to break out the sprinkler and flipflops! Time to set up the slip-n-slide!

:o)

Certificate errors and dark thots

Well this new net-book has managed to annoy me in one way:
I cannot figure out how to make it stop alerting on all these certificate errors! Every freakin site I go to (inlcuding my own?) gets me a certificate error-navigation blocked alert. I know I should know how to turn these off, but for the life of me, I can't figure it out. Input please?

On a seperate note, sometimes, some posts will be purely for my own personal edification.
Sometimes, I just need to vent.
If I write, and then delete, well...it's not the same as writing and publishing.
And so, some posts will be contained here, in this format:

Where there's smoke, there's popcorn

I like popcorn.
It's lowfat, and its crunchy and filling.
I especially like Orville Redenbachers 94% fat free pop corn.

Odds are good that by now, you have already guessed a major part of the plot in today's blogpost, but I will go on anyway...as only I can do.
;o)

The way I pop popcorn is always the same:
Set the time for 5min, and stand there the entire time waiting for the popping noises to slow down to "1 pop" every 2 seconds. This is when its time to stop.
This is how I always do this.

Except for today I got distracted.

The phone rang.
A vendor needed to know what her blackfriday weekend sales had been, and she asked, "could I go run her numbers?" I went to the front of the store, and plugged in the info for her booth, told her the details and hung up. I began to putter around the front counter area, catching up on vendor notes andwhat not, until I smelled the smoke.

The smoke could be seen at the back of the store as a light greyish ground fog.Fortunately the microwave itself was not melted.
Not entirely.
I turned off the building heaters and threw open both the front and back doors.
I spent the day "febreezing" the back corner of the store, stockroom, and bathroom.
I am afraid that it is now the microwave itself that is perpetuating the ongoing stink in the stockroom. I may have to buy my boss a new microwave for Christmas.
I will continue to run the fans and febreeze the crap out of the room tomorrow as well, and then see how things are by tomorrow night.

Also, I am now banned from ever popping popcorn at work again.
This is a self-imposed ban.

Today and stuff

So I may be getting some studio space OF MY OWN!!! In a great quiet location
within walking distance of downtown!!! IT will be great because if the kids need
a space to walk to after school, they can. When I need some quiet time to get some work done, I can.

It will be a haven!

Now all I need to find is a small microwave for cheap. Maybe I can get one at the thrift store?

:o)

What goes around, comes around...

...and goes back around and around and comes home to roost again, no matter how many times it goes out and back and around.

What does it mean?
What does any of that mean?
What does it all mean?

Who cares.
I know I don't.

What really matters, at this moment, is that while I HATE all Google products with a dire and
fiery passion that has few other equals, I find that my need to blog is greater.

Facebook Notes is insufficient to my way of thinking, because anyone who has ever added you as a friend is forced to recieve these updates about your "Notes."
I don't want to do that to people and also, the only people I want reading my kind of posts, are the people who actually come seeking them. Which does not happen necessarily via Facebook.
I don't want to make ANYBODY a captive audience.
But I also need to blog.

So I am back with this vile Google Product aka Blogger.

Yes Google retains all material forever, as well as attempts to claim the rights to intellectual material. I will combat this by utilizing ye olde watermarks with regards to art, and my friend the Creative Commons License for all literary what evers.

Google Schmoogle can piss off for all I care.

Its a free country and in America it is apparently 'ok' to bite a feeding hand, so blog on!

Alliance Highschool Speaks About the Idea of Compromise.

History Quiz Question #10, based upon the quote of Author Shelby Foote as he appeared in the video series, "The Civil War" by Ken Burns.

Quote by author Shelby Foote,
regarding involvements in the Civil War:
"We (Americans) should have stuck to
what we were best at: compromise."


Essay Question #10:
When is it alright to compromise, and when is it not?



Answers:



"Slavery was an evil in America, that needed to be abolished, but I think there should have been compromise so that so many people could have lived. In situations with evils such as Hitler, we can't compromise, but we must fight to take away that evil! The bible really isn't clear on whether we should compromise or wage war, but I think the best thing to do is compromise so that lives aren't lost."

-Jessica, Freshman



"Compromising is fine until people stop standing by what their beliefs for the sake of peace.
If the Union had continued compromising on the issue of slavery, blacks would be toiling in every part of the United States. Certain things must be defended. Included among these are human lives, freedom from tyranny of the whip and the child's right to a loving parent or guardian. In these things, compromise is selfish, wrong and cruel. Yes, war should be avoided, but if millions of lives are lost or tortured in the name of peace, then compromise is wrong."

-Alexis, Sophomore



" We had possibilities for compromise, if the North gave a little more power to the South and the South gave up a bit of their slavery - we would still have slavery at that point though, so compromise was not the best answer. Sometimes we want to compromise to keep a war from starting, or to end a war, but its not always an ok thing. If your compromise corrupts your morals, then the compromise should not happen. You should never compromise to sin, and God has justified some wars, so I think you leave it up to Him to decide whether your fight is a sin. To compromise on God's commands though? NEVER!!! "

-Student 'K', Junior



"If they would have compromised on the fact of slavery, America would have been a much different place. I don't think they should have compromised. It would have just been tension ready to explode. If we did not get this Civil War out of our system when we did, it could have been ten-fold worse if it happened today or some other time. In general I think we should compromise on our views and NOT on our beliefs."

-Jared, Freshman



"You should not compromise with wrong. If you know you are living in truth and someone is living in wrongs, then you should not accept their lies with your truth. However, there is always the possibility that war would be the greatest wrong and too costly to engage in. Then compromise would have been the lesser of two evils. If ones morals are threatened, one should not compromise."

-Bailey, Sophomore



"There are a lot of situations where it is appropriate to compromise, such as when you can save lives, or prevent harm or potential hurt, it is better to compromise. However, it is not good to compromise when you have to let go of your core values to do so. Never compromise if it has to do with something you truly believe to be wrong, because you will just be failing yourself. If an agreement can be reached by reasonable means, then absolutely compromise. I think what he said about America Compromising is true on the level of domestic issues, but not with foreign countries."

-Cavan, Junior



"I think compromising is the best thing to do, but I think that the Civil War was a hard one to compromise. I say that because each side had so many strong feelings for what they believed in, making it tough to compromise. Slavery is a huge subject. I think it is possible that if they tried to come up with a compromise about it where both sides get something there would still be lots of anger between the two sides. So I don't think the war could have been compromised. Maybe prolonged, but not compromised. "

-Trevor, Freshman



"I think compromise is so...CONFUSING!!! I think compromise is the only way you can postpone the inevitable. It's so easy to think if you compromise, then everything will be alright, but eventually you will regret that compromise, demand your full rights, and the whole problem will start anew. Compromise postponed the Civil War, but it couldn't keep the Civil War from happening. I wish compromise could be a solution, but it isn't. It's like if you accidentally rip a piece of paper in half. It's important that you keep the paper, so you tape it. The tape is the compromise. It will hold just fine for a while, but when the tape stops sticking, you've got the same problem all over again.

-Scout, Freshman



"In my opinion I think we should try to compromise all the time. The reason behind that is because "violence is not a means for conflict resolution", and I agree. During the Civil War, I don't think there could have been a reasonable compromise, because both sides wanted what they wanted and they were not willing to change their ways or views. Yes, I do think compromising is good, but in this case, it couldn't have happened."

-Max, Freshman



"I think it depends upon the compromise. If it were a compromise in the Civil War, I think that it would be bad because the Civil War changed the world - even the world we live in today. If we had "compromised" we probably wouldn't have the knowledge and scientific advancements that we have today, including medical and technology."

-Sam, Junior

Hospital, car wreck, job cuts and stuff

Man I am so wiped, I can't even write this!
So I am just going to blabber.

It has been a fascinating 72 hours!

Friday Scouts Bladder infection became more than that.
We spend the day in the ER. They sent her home with hightened antibiotics and some Vicodin.
When we got home from the hospital, Stu dropped a bomb in that his hours at work were cut from FT to 35 hours per week. Not just his, but all of the FT staff where he works.
It is likely true that, despite the economy, his employers were actually attempting to save some jobs by cutting back rather than firing 2 or 3 people completely.
But there is one thing that I found MOST telling and that stuck oddly in my craw...
...the person who let him go, (and who he has worked under at a different company in the past) asked him a very odd question after telling him the news; his supervisor asked, "So, when I called you in here, what did you think it was going to be about?"

Ok.
THAT is such a really strange thing to say.
I mean what kind of a cat-n-mouse, control freak, self seeking kind of a question is that?

That is just too weird for me.


As far as Scouts healing, all seemed well by Saturday AM.
And then Satruday night, she missed a middle-of-the-night dose of her viciodin and I noticed that her pain level was waaaayyy beyond what it had been originally.
So we kept up the medications all through Sunday.

Blake and My Nissan:
So Saturday, Blake and Emery and Andrew are all coming home for the weekend.
Blake drops off the other boys at their houses and on his way home, he decides to take the scenic route, since it has been a while. A totally random thing.
It was on this road that a deer came shooting out of the brush seconds ahead of the Nissan.
It his the car and rolled up on the windshield and flew off into the ditch, leaving Blake shaken and my Nissan drivable but totalled.

Blake was remarkably unharmed!
He suffered a little from the deployment of the airbags (which stink to high heaven let me tell you) and he was a little bit shocky abotu 30-45 min after the fact, but is mercifully unharmed.

Scout on the other hand, steadily growing worse on Sunday and by Monday morning, had run out of vicodin with no relief in sight afterward. I dosed her the final pill and then loaded her back up to go to the ER.

It turns out she has a 6mm kidney stone!

She goes in tomorrow AM to see the kidney doc and get it taken care of.

So I get home on Monday night, and Stu has taken the boys all back to Portland which was hugely helpful, and I am not in the door 10 minutes an dmy dad is here banging on the back door saying he cooked some chili this afternoon and puttled out some hotdogs and wanted to eat dinner.

He is a fairly unhyegenic individual, and we typically do not eat foods that he brings unless theya re still seaked in the package or unless we have personally witnessed the hiygenic preparation beforehand. So my dad wants us to eat his food. I have to grill him about when he cooked it, and after he cooked it, where he stored it until the evening. He says "well, on the counter of course! I am not going to put a warm pan in the refrigerator!" I said, "dad, you can't leave food out for more than an hour after you've cooked it. If you don't eat it in that time period you have to put it in the fridge!" He said, "No! he woudln't do that." So it was at that point I messaged scout on Facebook and said, "you should probably not eat what gramps is bringing." I mean, like I don't have enough to worry, I have to worry aout hurting his manly ego pride feelings when he brings over ecoli tainted foods, from poor prep and the fact that he doesn't wash his hands and he sneezes and coughs into his hands and then lays the on the food!

I swear....there are DAYs, old man!....

Anyway, there it is.

For today.

But tomorrow is a whole new day.
:o)

Happy day

I managed to find work today! Yay!
Also, I managed to find a replacement disk for my missing Uru Complete Chronicles Disk 1.
Now..all I have to do is replace my Monkey Island Games which all got scratched up to bejeebers,
and then the rest of my winter weekends will shape up to be pretty danged good!
:o)

stuff and what not

So today I got a chanc eto work in the morning at Pony processing freight with Rick.
Since the store (Heritage) is closed weekdays until spring break, I find myself looking for other work again...that and Stu got shorted half his pay this month - which was such a lovely surprise. It was 1/3 short last month so you can imagine the glee with which I recieved this news. But is is ok because it inspires me to look avidly for new jobs that I haven't pursued before and causes me to cook in new ways. Really, this is a good thing. It is amazing what you can pass off as dinner to people who aren't paying too much attention, and to the ones who are, its all in the presentation. So far so good. :oD

So I worked at Pony this morning and may get anther chance to on Thurs or Friday. I may get a chance to volunteer teach History next week, up the the Alliance Highschool. our history teacher had a family injury and needs to take some time off so she compiled the lessons and since the curriculum for the segment relies largely on Ken Burns' Civil War, I think I will show that for the first part of class time and then move on to the other portions of the curriculum. I am kinda exctited by the chance to do this. I will just have to figure out how to juggle working with filling in this gap.

Blake, Andrew and Emery (friends since 5th grade) all moved in to an apt in Portland together and are attending school up there for this term. I miss them but I am glad they are within driving distance! :o) They have been busily furnishing their apt with thrift store finds and artwork. It is really coming together. I am so glad the boys are together. Once they get their internet hooked up Ihoep they will post some pics of the apt on FB.

That is all the boring poop for the day.
Figured I ought to at least write something.

Maybe more to come tomorrow.

O here, it's a clip from a show that I watched growing up in the 70's.

Suddenly the things I do and the ways I do them all make sense now, seeing what was being pumped into my young mind every saturday morning.

What is more important ...

What is more important :

Unity or Truth?

Why?

Climbing over the hump

I can get all of my studio rebuilt (which I have done).
I can get all of my canvases and paints and tools ready.
And then...there is the black hole...the void...the hump...the wall that I can't get past.
It sends me to do other chores, laundry, dishes, bills what ever, anything...to block me from actually sitting down and doing the act of painting. Of sitting down and actually applying the paint, stroke by stroke.

Miraculously, once I sit down and begin to apply paint, I begin to see the next step that the piece or painting must take. I could not see that step until I had begun the first step of the "journey". Until I engaged in the project. Then it unfolded to me. In the quietness of painting, my thoughts expand and contract and see in new ways, and there is peace and communion with Almighty God - this moment is where I am most myself, with as much of His presence as I can receive, comprehend or stand.

It occurs to me that this preparation, and subsequent block/wall to doing the actual sitting down and painting, is very similar to our relationship with God. We cannot see the whole picture, but when we settle ourselves down to do His way, or to seek Him, and NOT religion for it's own sake, that He reveals Himself and His plan step by step, in a way that each individual of us might receive, process and comprehend it.

I think painting is my meditation.
It is my devotional time, with the Creator of the Universe; the Creator of myself, as I am.
It is then that I realise, He is indeed fully pleased with me - even more - He not only loves me, He LIKES me.

And yet, there is this hump, wall or stumbling block that keeps me from sitting down and painting - engaging in that humble, naked moment before Him, in quietness, when I am only myself = which is not enough for the world, but is exactly enough for Him who has created me to be this way.

observation by Stu

So Stu said he noticed how dad never knocks on the door but just tried to wrestle it open and walk right in. He noticed that, if the door is locked, that my dad, instead of knocking, will stomp around on the porch and bang his cane down really hard on the porch to get our attention, but he refuses to knock.
Something about Stu's observation suddenly cracks me up, because it validated what I have been thinking: the old man is so dang controlling that he can't bring himself to even knock on the door, because to knock is too humbling an experience for him.

It makes me laff for a minute and feel like I am not the one who is crazy here.

Where do you draw the line?

What do you do when you can't write about the things deepest to your heart because it involves another person, a friend, a loved one, a family member, and you don't want to cast them in a bad light. At the same time, if the sole purpose of your blog is for your own mental health, you need to be able to write the truth in freedom.

I suppose that, in the end, it is love and honour that restrains one from belittling another, even if you really detest the other person and they happen to be a family member. (He shall remain nameless - it's not Stu and it's not Blake) ;o)

Anyway, I suppose that you can love and detest a person simultaneously. I think that may be some strange grace of God incarnate and set within our hearts, reflecting Him - as he is complete love, mercy and discipline, and we are made in His image. Although I personally do NOT claim to act within the confines of these attribues because ... well because I am human and often too self absorbed as such. Even so, I think we all have moments when His gifts residing within us, seem to shine through despite us.

I am heavy of heart and mind. And I often don't know how to process situations and information. I desire input. I do not hold all the answers. Sometimes writing, often tqalking with another person, helps me to "get a compass reading."
I know my blind spots.
I need input form other humans who are not deficient in the same areas to speak truth into me in those places.
But I dare not write all truth here.
Even though I am desperate to.

If I knew that only Leh, and Kimberly and Bryan were the only ones to ever cast an eye over this blog, I would have no fear and just let it fly. But what if some else did stumble in? What if a family member got wind of a truth I was trying to learn how to process rightly? What if...?

What if...?

It is too great.

Even so, I will say that I am often a prisoner in my own home.

Quote of the day

"Joe thinks that Obama is an overconfident imbecile for believing his diplomatic approach to the Middle East would ever yield success.

- Joe Mantecon. Artist and Marine.

Blake has a new song

ok so my son has gone off to PDx to college and he and David have given birth to a new song. I am sure BlanDrew video will follow during the upcoming year.
Anyway, the link to their new song is here.

Un-Opened Letter is my favorite for obvious reasons.

Kitchy Curio Shop

The store where I work is referred to in polite circles as a "Vendor Mall". It is a place where any one can rent a booth space and hawk their taudry wares as they see fit.

It is a wondrously kitchy, educational and inspiring place to work for 2 days each week.

Here is a sample of some of more interesting "taudry wares" being marketed there.
(You will need to click on the photo to see the proper enlarged version of the photo.)

Obama's Health Care Notion would not work for my family

He would REQUIRE children to be insured?

In reality, I think this should be mandated but only until about 5 or 6 years of age after which time, the only things that kids need hospitlization for is a broken bone, an appendectomy, tonsillectomy, eartubes etc. (-and this is a GENERAL STATEMENT that applies to the AVEREAGE family - not those battling childhood cancers and similar extreme deadly illnesses, etc)

Under the guise of presenting himself as noble by taking the "Children first" tack with regard to emotional wording, he managed to avoid providing for the most expensive and at risk group : The Middle Aged American.
We are now the people who are the ones without health care.

We will take care of our kids first.
I will take my kids to the Dr at the first sign that a cold/flu is going bacterial.
But there comes a time when kids injuries are payable, even after a few years of making payments, which I have done.

It is MY age group that his plan shuffles off under the rug because our health risks are MORE expensive and our health insurance is more expensive because of it.

It is MY age group that dies prematurely of simple stuff - heart attack, diabetes complications, cholesterol, cancers etc because we cannot take food out of our kids mouths to go get checked out.

Obama mandating that Employers provide
Insurance/help with insurance:

Well that's already what we have now, and his plan for this is not sounding all that different.

If I am unemployed - then I have no employer to "Help" pay in for my health care.
If I am unemployed because I am a stay at home mom, then odds are we can't afford to pay into the health care package provided by my spouses employer, because we are not making enough to pay that extra amount, since there is only ONE salary coming into the household.

Kids are eligible for free clinics more often than their parents.
I know because I have had to participate in the Oregon Health Plan from time to time while raising my 3 kids. Now that plan has gone belly-up and can no longer provide services. It was a great experiment that died.

I still say that McCains health care plan is the one that would best fit our families needs.

My kids health care needs after the ages of 6 went down enourmously. Mine and my husbands went up. Kid injuries like the common ones I listed above are relatively inexpensive by comparison, and can be paid off within the course of 1-2 years. I know I have done it many times.

If I get cancer, there is NO treatment for me.
We make too much to be seen by free clinics, and we don't make enough to pay for health care, send our kids to college and food and basics are often a struggle. If I get a cold/fly that appears to be going bacterial, I do not go to the Dr. I try to see if I can ride it out. I just can't afford the expense. If John McCains plan went through, you bet I would have a physical, get a mammogram, a PAP (none of these have I had in 9 years or more.) I would get my blood pressure and cholesterol monitoring taken care of, and have my blood sugar monitored.

That right there is about $1000 worth of diagnostics, and the meds would be about $150 per month. But ieven for a little while, it would go a LOOOOONG way to extending my life span without putting my family at a bigger financial risk.

What gets me as I watch this, is that Obama represents himself, his experiences and that of his family as a connecting point with the viewer. He assumes that we are all like him, for the most part. but we aren't. He has everything. And if his health care plan went through, the gov't would save alot of money by dodging having to include my generation in its "mandated" health care plans.

Additional comment from Pam at FaceBook
(We'll call her Pam 1):

I might add to that by saying, just one blood sugar poke is a dollar per glucose stick (if done at home), that is not including the achohol swab and the actual lancet. If you need insulin, depending on the dosage it is 75.00 per vial and some use 4 vials a month. 8 sticks a day adds up too! Some people like myself pay 2000.00 a month on just meds alone. We for one... Can NOT AFFORD it!!! So... I vote McCain/Palin!!
Help in health care greatly needed for the middle aged!!!
Thanks Michelle for your thoughts and for taking time to post them.


A comment from ANNE at FaceBook:
Hi Michelle! Hey, I agree with you too. Except, I've never really liked him. Beyond the partial birth abortion support, you know what else he supports? If a woman is having an abortion and it is botched and the baby acually, gasp-heaven forbid!, lives...he supports just putting it in a prettily decorated "comfort room" and leaving it to die. Read this in an Oregon Right to Life paper. Anyone who supports that has no soul in my humble opinion. He is eloquent and smooth and does have some good ideas but I think he's a total wolf in sheeps clothing. If he's elected, I think it would be fine for the first year or so and then I think America would start seeing his true colors and they'd be in for way more than they bargained for...

And a comment from a Different Pam at FaceBook
(We'll call her Pam 2:
I can't feel any hope from a man that 8 years ago did not stay a Maverick for the things that mattered. He (McCain) speaks clearly of embracing Adam Smith Economic principals of capitalism that believes that an invisible arm will correct any problems in the economy.(He said this early in his campaign and it seemed to me to sound like something to placate the far right of the spectrum with.) Then Enron, Housing Market,desire to build more Nuclear Power Plants, Bale Out of the Banks and AIG,jobs being lost by big companies going overseas where there is precious little oversight, and our need for medical insurance and McCain is acting like he has consistently really backed these issue for the people. As we have already had 8 years of very little checks and balances I could not endorse this continued direction. But then I am just in the poorest, largest, school district in the state and work with students and families that aren't making $200,000/yr. Habitat for Humanity come in ...

And then Mih Wrote:

Well I don't make 200,000 are year either.

Something that Obama said back a few months ago really got my attention.
He said " America, we are the solution to our own problems."
That is pretty danged humanistic.
Granted I am not one for sitting on my butt and not being proactive, but I also know that human kind has limits that it often does not recognise.

I also think that this statement of his declares more about his inner perspective than he is confessing. After watching him, I believe he is a Godless man, despite all of his wacky-church affiliation. I think that mankind is his god.
As far as economical stuff, I don't think McCain has indicated that he will be staying the current course with regard to the economy. I have a huge stake in AIG. Frankly, I am appalled at teh folderol that would threaten my dads livelihood in his declining years,an I will take an appropriate course of action by the end of this week, but I think McCain will tackle that head to head. And I think he has indicated as much. And while nobody is perfect, I am thinking that McCain is a far better choice than Obama at this point. I find Obama to be slickly skirting the issues, and using culturally pleasing metaphors and language to tickle people ears. I have to agree with what Anne said earlier, in that he is certainly starting to appear like a wolf in sheeps clothing.

As far as an "invisible Arm" I am not sure what all that is about but I know that God has long intervened on the behalf of Israel, through the existence of America.

America, (while chasing after the fate of Rome at a galloping run it would seem,) will continue to exist until such time as God is through with us.
But we are going the route of Rome to be sure.
I do NOT believe for one minute that America will always exist.

God says He will not strive with man forever.
His strivings with Americans and their self absorbed debauchery and self love have gone on for very very long. And while we race along toward our own destruction, when compared with the self righteous and behaviours of other world cultures and nations, we are still considered a "Christian Nation," (which defies comprehension when you think about how ungodly even we, the Church have become).
We are the ones in Iraq.
Let the media krap all over that situation but you talk to a soldier.
The people of Iraq are GLAD we are there.
I hate that my friends relatives have died in a stinking war!
But these same soldiers bring gifts that have been donated by average Americans. My town alone collects school supplies and ships them directly to soldiers who give them to families with children in Iraq. This is not a gov't sponsored activity. This is a community that says "This is the right thing to do."
Yes.
We love those who would normally be called our enemies.

We send a poop load of aid to Pakistan when it has horrific earthquakes that devour its people by the thousands.
You didn't see Pakistans neighbors rushing to their aid.
And Pakistan STILL harbours Taliban extremists.

So when you mention an invisible arm, yeah. I think there is one.
We deserve hell and death.
We have better.
Not because we are good.
Because God is.

JASON at FaceBook Writes:

"I agree, too, actually, that Obama's plans regarding health care have been rather vague. And while I think he is a great public speaker, which would give him an advantage as a leader, his tone has been rather condescending at times. He needs to bury his ego a little bit and stop trying to distance himself from the wealthy, which he now is.

To be fair, Obama had to work pretty hard to get where he is at, while John Sidney McCain III is, like George W Bush, the third generation of an American dynasty. Both rebelled against their expectations into mediocrity as kids. Both try to shed skins as Episcopalian members of the Washington elite to build political careers as self-styled, ranch-inhabiting Westerners who pray to Jesus in their wives' evangelical churches.

As for abortion, neither McCain or Obama will make the issue go away. The Supreme Court made their ruling, and frankly, when our government decides for us what morality is, I don't think we're free.

But! As much as we may dislike personal qualities of each person (or their VP choices), that shouldn't affect how we judge them as politicians. I wish I had more time to get into that aspect of it..."

A middle American womans thots on the VP Debate

My blow by blow take on the VP debates as carried out via my Face Book Status updates and comments from friends:

...I have to agree with Biden that Drilling is not necessarily the solution. 6:34pm

... how can coal be "clean?" It defies the essence of coal burning. 6:36pm

...disagree with Biden. In the sense of marriage, marriageis a BIBLICAL institution and therefor Christian. There is no such thing as Same Sex Marriage. 6:38pm

...There is no sense in "talking" with Iran, or North Korea or Cuba. I agree with Palin on this point. 6:51pm

...look at Bidens eyes..he's playing to the camera. When Palin addresses him, she is looking at him, no tthe camera. Interesting. 7:02pm

...he' still not addressing her, he is still adressing the camera. weirdness. 7:12pm - CommentWrite a comment... hmmm...Palin has repeatedly declared her respect for Biden on mutually recognised issues. He has not done likewise. 7:06pm


...on the role of VP - that was good, Biden was more engaging and humble addressing both Palin and plain speaking his ideas to the nation. 7:16pm


And the health care debate:
mih is thinking that McCains Health Care proposal would work for me. Obama's wouldn't. Frankly, i would LIKE some health care.

Kimberly Wilson at 6:29pm October 2 wrote:
What makes you think that McCain's would work for you and Obama's wouldn't?

mih- because $5000 allocated to our family would make it possible for me to decide how to use it. As opposed to Obama/gov't deciding what plan I could have which would cover this or that. I would decide. Not the gov't, how to use my allocation. I can't access OR Health Plan. I can't access free clinics. I have real medical needs that go unaddressed - ... high blood pressure, weird tissue growths, heart murmur and potential diabetes. Dental and vision needs go un-met because the current gov't decides what is needful and what isn't for my quality of life.

PS - Blake, dion't freak out. God is big. He is the one who keeps me alive. Although it WOULD be nice to have SOME medical care.

Kimberly Wilson at 7:22pm October 2
Thanks for the answer! I appreciate it! Mih Ehr at 7:23pm October 2

Mih Ehr at 7:29pm October 2
Look around you America. Half of the people you pass on the street are like me. We have REAL health needs. We have NO health support. We don't talk about it because it would alarm our loved ones.But Obama is waaaayyyy too glossy. The current govts health system does NOT work either.A mandated health plan is not the answer because it just takes away what I need to pay for groceries for my family and forces me to submit to a mandated health plan that doens't even meet our needs.
In the end, if Obama had his way, I would be out the premium $ to pay for the mandated health care plan, and it wouldn't even meet my needs. So I would pay the premiums demanded by the gov't and lose out on the medical care it is SUPPOSED to provide AND in the procress the gov't would rob me of the $ to pay for groceries.I cannot support this idea.

mih is now officially riled up about health care. Obama sucks. (Read comments) Thank you Kimberly for bringing it out. you are awesome! :o). 7:31pm - Comment

And so I did see with New Eyes

So instead of giving in to frustration - the inspiration that arrived on the heels of a mundane and slow work day, I chose to look upon my surroundings with new eyes.

I work in a vendor mall , with 60 different vendors each stocking their own individual booths with their own individual products ranging from the antique to the kitchy. From the random and indescribable to the downright ugly. Its all here. So I gazed with new inspiration on elderly chairs, and dead-eyed dolls. On a cast iron Mr Peanut and an old chrome icebucket with a lucite handle from the 1950's.

I looked on these sorts of things, and tried to imagine how I would arrange them in a shoot.

It was a good way to spend an otherwise slow day in the curio-shop.
:o)

Inspiration comes at goofy times

Why is it that inspiration comes right before some other required task? Right before I have to spend days at work focusing on the mundane for the sake of duty>

This post is in reference to the amazing body of work that is always cropping up courtesy of photographer and boy genius Jason Rydquist (Aka Heinrick, Aka Fahrmboy).

This guy's work inspires me like few others.

He has an amazing ability to communicate thoguhts and emotions using sometimes the barest images and at other times he has the gaul to stage a shoot using props, lighting, anything at his disposal that will leave the viewer with a reaction.

This is the sort of person I aspire to be.

And yet, at the end of the day, I am only myself.
And I think, "therefore, how has God gifted and enlightened me to be on this day?"
How will I follow through with that tomorrow.
Now while Mister Rydquist is not necessarily interested in the things of God always, I still see God's handprint all over him.
As for me, God uses Jason to remind me that I too ave gifts. Very different than Jasons, but I can aspire to be myself, as Jason aspires to be his ownself.

These things we can learn from observing each other.

Please buy this guys prints.
Please some one, bankroll the publishing of his coffee table books and calendars.

And my sincere prayer is that he will never become a collossal a-hole after the caliber of Thomas Kinkade, once he finds his niche and makes his millions.

Yay! No more PBD Layout!

I am so glad I got rid of the PBD layout (Push the Button Dumbie) and was able to revert to the old manual template editor.

I think I will work on finding a way to add a slide show.

I really hate the PBD layout

I liked the old template editing options best and once I get a minute I am SO reworking this thing so that I can go back to editing it the OLD way.

Minutae:

Facebook must be the greatest timewaster on the face of the planet.
It is so easy to get sucked into doing al of yoru communicating and messing about there that you turn around and look at the clock and a whole hour has gone by, when really, all you meant to do in the first place is check in with your kids and update your status.
Dang!

While there are many fun features at FAcebook, they aren't necessarily the ones I want, but they suck me in to wasting time.
Like Food Fling.
How horribly addicting.
I don't know why maybe it has something to do with the fact that you can fling the most retarded food items such as "Rice Gruel" at people.

Anyway, I need to refocus what I want to do with my time.

I have not mastered updating my proper website at michelle ehr dot com, and while there is a gorgeous front page ready for my use at redIgallery, I haven't managed to conquer uploading even my front page to that site, so for now, my default teporary site is back here a blogspot until such time as I figure it out. In the meantime likewise, my gallery will remain housed at DevArt because it is a screamin free service.
I just hate the slutty ad bars.

Anyway so now I am off to work at the antique/vendor mall.
I will maybe post some images fro the store of what it is like.
Its a fun and kitchy place, housing all manner of retro stuff to crafty quilty things and everything in between. It is quiet. The tourists that come in are nice, not demanding, they are just happy to be on vacation. It is a place that suits me. (now if only I could figure out how to get an internet connection there.) ;o)

Have agood day.

Winter Shoes for Work

So I took my reward points that I have saved up from two years worth of airline tix purchases to and from Rhode Island and got my self some work shoes for winter.

What I like

If anybody ever wondered.
These are the kinds of garments and fabrics that I love.
I confess.
I am a freak.
I would indeed wear any and all of these things to work. (The fact that I work at an antique shop helps.)

This is probably about 2-3 years of saving and making purchases.

Heroes

I have been watching the NBC series entitled "Heroes."

Typically I detest watching broadcast tv, considering it to be a colossal waste of time, however this new series has intrigued me, as I think it has good writing. I think the writing is so good that not only does it cause the viewer to wonder what will happen next, I think in some cases that it causes the viewer to exercise their own imaginations as to what COULD possibly happen next.

So as I was doing this very thing one day, I thought to myself, "Michelle, if you could have a power or 'ability' what would it be? "

No matter what power I opted for, I came to the conclusion that it was one I already posessed - through the power of Jesus Christ.

It was an inspiring communion moment between God and I.
Yes, I "had Power," but also, am I truly USING that power? As He intends me to use it? Conviction sets in at this point.

One of the show's characters, Hiro Nakamura, makes the statement early in the first season saying , "A Hero who does not use his power does not deserve to have it."

Decidedly so.
And yet God is so gracious to let us exist, even while we are failing Him all the day. Such is the power of His matchless grace and love.

British man says he invented the iPod back in 1979...

Interesting:

British man claims that he invented the iPod back in 1979.
Original artwork may prove his claim?

Thanks for the tip on this Andrew Wilson.

Alaska's full of Creative Thinkers

When Stu and I were working with Native North Americans the organization we worked with had a base in Alaska.

In the Matanuska-Susitna Valley area.

We had co-workers who were from Wasilla.

Alaska is amazing.

A Brief (-ish) History and/or Theory for my personal opinion:

As people migrated west, from the east, they exhibited a spirit of independence.

As I have spent time in the last few years, having family in the Extreme East, and having grown up in the Extreme West, I can say that I can see the outcomes of that "Pioneering Spirit."

Comparing East -vs- West, the West coast exhibits an independent mind set, -vs- an INTER dependent one (such as one might find on the East Coast where people actually KNOW their neighbors and their neighbors kids and what not. My eastern family would be appalled that we in the west can live next door to someone for 10 years and only say "hi" to them and not have any problem with that, whereas people in the East seem to build relationships more readily with those around them. The west is more independent as opposed to inter-dependent - this is a broad statement of course and I realise, there are a multitude of exceptions, but for the most part, these are differences I have noted in my own families.)

This independent, "Pioneering Spirit" finds its culimation in Alaska I think. The furthest west, the last frontier.

People from Alaska are strong.

They are creative (sometimes unorthodox) problem solvers.

(Unorthodox as compared with what might be considered typical behaviour using typical resources.)

Alaskans will dare to try new things in order to solve a problem.

They are amazing people.

They can figure out how to do things on their own without needing input from other humans, although when such input presents itself they are not averse to it necessarily.

Alaska is a hard place.

Only the creative thinker and hardy individual can thrive there.

I never would have imagined McCain would have chosen Palin as a running mate, but not only does it seem fitting right now - in these days of people crying "Change! Change!" It is a wildly creative solution on the part of McCain.

Maybe he has some Alaskan history himself?

I'm just saying, I support her with a fuller heart than I have supported any presidents/candidates in the last few decades.

Palin is a true hope for positive change, imho.

I don't know that I would vote for her as President...yet...but she is going to make a screamin' VP.

imho.

Just my two cents on this one.

:o)

Since I rarely have a real political opinion.

You should check out Alaskans.

They are awesome and wacky all at the same time.

Reading the poetry of Robert Service would also not be amiss here.

("The Cremation of Sam Magee" has long been a favorite shared at our family's table after a Thanksgiving or Christmas Dinner before the whole family.)

It sounds crazy I know...but it works.

;o)

m-

Heroes Countdown

I really like this show in a way that I have NEVER liked TV shows at all.
Same as I pretty much HATE to listen to the radio.

But this show, "Heroes" is so well written in my opinion. I think it causes the viewer not only to be curious about what happens next, it gives the viewer the impetus to use their own imagination as to the upcoming plot. What twists? What turns? How does/did Sylar gain people's abilities? Does he eat their brains? (ewww!) How does he work? And Where is Elle's mom? What is Angela Petrelli's ability? What was her husbands ability. And what about West? Are his parents even alive and whoch one of them or both have abilities and what are those? Will Adam/Kensei escape? What/who will he do when he does?

The possibilities boggle the mind.

Anyway, I never really did like to watch TV.

Not until this show came out.

So anyway, that is why you see the Season 3 countdown clock widget for the moment.

There is just enought time to rent Season 1 and the abbreviated Season 2 (due to the writers strike).

Yeah well I am back here for now.

For now anyway I am back here until I can hool up a new blog at my new website.
I got REALLY tired of yahoo shenanigans - they just raised my rates.
poop heads! so I canxed my account - hence the reason why soylent media's webstie went Jack Benny. Fortunately, and strangely before this missive came down from Yahoo I had already been working with good long time friend Blue Max to procure web hosting services, so when Yahoo sent me the upgraded costs, I said "piss off!" basically.

B Max has been VERY helpful to educate me in areas where I am woefully inept. And I have decided that it is unwise to contradict a WINNER OF THE EDWARD R MURROW AWARd when he advises you.

:o)

So for today I am here, but I look toward the day when blog, and galleries are housed solely at my own "michelleehr.com and redIgallery" under the tuteledge of Monsieur Le Max Bleu go online permanently.

So for now, I am busy here and at Facebok because my kids and their homies are there.

New Blog Location / URL

Please update your stuff appropriately - ya know - like, if you want to.

You can access news and updates and chat via the website - Soylent Media, or you can link straight to the new blog URL.

So there is all the news thats fit to print.

The new updates are being carried out at the new location as we speak and the website is undergoing an overhaul with new links as well as old ones being put in.

So happy 4th of July, and I will see you at the new space.

:o)

mih-

More from the Highschool Photo Shoot

After culling through 400 odd photos, I have updated the website with most of them.
There is still a 4o image project I need to create with the last of the photos, but that will have to wait until maybe next month or something.
For now, the the next set of images is located here.

Alliance Highschool Class Foto

(Click the image for a proper view)

This is the combined Freshman and Sophomore class of the new Christian highschool in town.
The class foto theme was the brain-child of the students themselves, and I was priviledged to be allowed to be one of the shooters to help facilitate their vision.

This is one of the first pics out of my camera.
I look at them and I weep.
Why?
Because having a son who is graduating this year with all of his friends whom I have known since their 5th grade year, it is a melancholy time. I am saying goodbye to a generation of kids that I have grown to love. I realise in a new way, how fleeting are the years that we get to have our kids living at home with us. To have the pleasure of their company and that of their friends as well.

And so...I look at this next group of highschoolers - my daughters class - whom I have known many of them since their first grade years. How much more intense will my emotion be when they achieve their highschool graduation? I dare not ponder it.

It is a thing to hold dear in ones heart. A thing to memorise - each face - each smile - each sense of humour, and commit to memory.

Time is fleeting.
Love is eternal.

BlanDrew's Newest Performance

So the boys performed at a Benefit at Shevlin Park Friday night, but I didn't go because tixx were $40 a pop. Instead I waited for the one that was at The Hangar last night. THey opened for Heath McNease who is really awesome. Anyway, they are always tardy in giving me copies of their work for archival purposes, so I have taken to collecting my own, using the video function on my still cam.

Anyway, the following is one of three entries from The Lumber Jack Concert at The Hangar.

My Hammered Dulcimer builder

Hey Rick Fogel, builder of fine folk instruments, including my signed, numbered one of a kind hammered dulcimer has a video posted on YouTube.
Each instrument he builds is unique, and a work of art in itself. The sound/tonal quality - which is already fabulous - improves each year as the instrument ages and is played.

This is truly a master Craftsman.

I hope you enjoy his video.

Richard Condies "the Apprentice"

Enjoy...

Yet more from Richard Condie..

Canadian customs and what not....

More Richard Condie Animation...

...anyone who has ever played an instrument or had to spend any time practicing or preparing for anything can appreciate the sentiments in this animated short film by Richard COndie entitled "Getting Started."

Enjoy!

Part 1 :




Part 2 :

Richard Condie's "THE BIG SNIT."

Richard Condie is one of my hero's in the world of animation.
He heads up a remarkable crew of twisted creative minds - rightfully Canadian - and I am pleased to post the first one I ever saw here at my blog.

I saw this back in the late '80's and it is still amusing.

Nostalgia #12

Ok, in further revisiting the Age known as "Blog Biscuit", I also stumbled upon this miraculous sculpture whihc certainly bears remembering.

See JonBienarts "Scorpie Toddlerpede."

It is miraculous.

In a twisted kind of way.

Aquil-ism #162

I ran across this comment James left on a blog post of mine a number of years ago.
It was during a time when I was contemplating leaving my secretarial job after 3.5 years.

The subject of the post, "Creative ways to become unemployed...", was left open to suggestion from the public in the form of comments.

James's comment:
"Go to work dressed in a bathrobe, a shower cap, and fuzzy slippers. At lunch.. whip out a bag of charcoal and a Hibachi...Then announce: "The Lunch Kabobs are on me!"

After eating the Kabobs... Pick your teeth with the bamboo skewers, all the time singing... "I love a parade".

J."



I am so glad I stumbled upon these things.
It reminds me of his style of humour.

He is SUCH a knucklehead!
:o)

Turkish Groove

Its kind of a fun CD.
It's put out on the Putamayo Label.
So far, Bendeniz's "Kyrmyzy Biber" is the best song on the album wiht a screamin' drum track and a combination of tradional middle eastern and Turkish instruments as well as modern electronic elements. One of the thngs that makes this sort of music so cool (imho) is the use of 1/4 steps - you know...on the piano you have the white keys and the black keys? From one white to the next black key is a 1/2 step. Middle Eastern music also uses 1/4 steps, which gives it it's unique "flavour."

Anyway, the video is posted here, and the lyrics pasted below.

Enjoy.





Telaþýmý var acelesi mi var
Kýsa bir öpücük çok iþime yarar
Allah'ým bana ne oldu bu defa
Devam ediyor bak oyunlarýna

Kuytularýmý kokularýmý
Unuttun mu sen o ayýplarýný
Zaten ne kadar aklýn vardý
Onu da bana ver seviþmek ne güzel

Bastým mühürü görecek gününü
Arayýp soracak tek tek bakacak
Evirip çevirip düþecek elime

Canýný yakarým hadi gör bakalým
Bal döken diline "kýrmýzý biberi"
Sürmedim ama sürerim bu defa

Ben kimdim ben uçup gittim ellerinden
Neydi inkar ettiðin bu çýlgýnlýk içinden
Zarardayým senin yasaklý þeytan yüzünden
Öldürüyor bu hali nasýl çýldýrttý bilmiyor

Sitting and sitting.

So, in order to get my foot to heal, I have to be sedentary.
The sun is shining, there is a mountain of dishes in the sink. (Mainly because I have to keep my foot propped up and nobody is doing them.) I have a buh-zilllion things to do.
But I sit.
So I have been updating my website, uploading the family photos, cleaning out my computer and backing up docs and files and stuff, watching Season 1 of Heros, getting ready to watch Season 1 of Jericho, and playing Uru.

I am going stir crazy from sitting.
I don't like to sit.

Foot burn for eternity

Ok so, apparently I have what is called a "2nd degree" burn, the likes of which can take anywhere from 1-2 weeks to heal.
This is really bad.
I don't have time for this.
I wrestle between frustration at what I see all around me that needs doing, goals set now left un-met, and the deeper notion that, to be fully productive, I need to accept this temporary condition and work within the confines of the situation - doing what can be done from a sitting and sedentary state.

But the very notion sits ill on my shoulders.

Scalded that fractured foot.

So...
for dinner I prepared chicken breasts in Cream-of-mushroom soup for dinner.
After baking the dish for 45 minutes I attempted to remove the dinner from the oven, but I did not have a good grip on the dish and it came crashing down on my foot, scalding and blistering my the skin all around. I haven't thought about writhing since the time I had a gall-bladder attack. I writhed really good tonight. For about an hour after I got done soaking my foot. I got real smart, real quick and put my dang foot BACK in the ice water and there it will stay until at least tomorrow morning. I find that keeping my foot submerged in the ice water keeps the pain level down.

This is crazy.

I don't have time for this.

Dear Lord God,
Will you please heal this soon-ish?

Amen.

Beach days

So Kenz and I had a beach day ourselves, here at the finish of Spring Break.

My MSword was being all funky so I ended up unloading it and reloading it again and lo and behold...Outlook actually loaded. After it died a year or so ago I lost access to it permanently, for reasons I could not fathom, but now its back. Yay! I prefer it to OE anyway.

Dumped the Windows Live messenger as it was too invasive...gee a Microsoft Product being invasive...imagine THAT! I also dumped Gmail Talk - or Google Talk - whatever the heck it is, for similar reasons.

Sat in church today and got inspired to create kind of a cool, LARGE sculpture.
That is one thing I love about God.
He is soooo unconventional.

It was kind of a busy day inside my head during church today.
Not only got the sculpture image, but became seriously burdened in my heart for a kid I barely know and who doesn't even go to my church. So I prayed that God would encourage him and show him light at the end of the tunnel. I am still praying, but the burden was soo sudden and unexpected...I am not traditionally one of those people who would label themselves as having the "spiritual gift" of intercessory prayer. I mean, yeah, I pray for people, but having that as a unique gift is different. It's intense and dangerous at times. Anyway this experience was similar to that. I was unnerved and thankful for the opportunity that God sent me something to pray about for some one I probably will never really interact with on a deep level. It was pleasing to know that I could encourage them, by talking directly to God on their behalf. So I prayed for Joy for him. Joy in every sense of the word.

While this was going on, I was trying to process the sermon I was hearing, as well as get the details on this image God was showing to me - the sculpture thingy.

Again, it was a busy day in my head.

I know this probably sounds all loopy and what not, but I have been learning to listen more to God and to what He says in the bible, literally, instead of listening so much to what other humans tell me. This is not to say I don't listen to and consider wise counsel and advice, its just that I am filtering it more through the Bible, and what He says to me through it.

I began to take a sketch book to church instead of a notebook a couple of years ago.
I find that many inspirations come from elements in the sermons, or prayers that God morphs in my head into images, usually abstract but not without symbolic meaning. When I say meaning, and that I am "getting" these images from God, I mean to say that the symbolism is mainly for me. The messages are from God to me personally. To most people they are mostly abstract, and in rare cases, mildly engaging. To me each one is a reminder of His plan for me through out my life and how we are "on the road together" He and I. Since I began to sketch in church, I am "getting" more and more images, usually as an ebb and flow through out the year.

Today was like taking a drink from a fire hose.

I was exhausted and exhilirated simultaneously, by the end of the church service.

And now, at the end of the day, when I was expecting my daughter who has been gone now for 3 THREE!!!) weeks to come home, I get a call saying they got a late start and that they are going to stop to rest this evening before making the rest of the drive home.

I am glad for their prudence...but we miss our daughter/sister.



Addendum:

Oh and I also broke my foot.
Hairline fracture.
I fell off the edge of the doormat.

No lie.

California Spring Break

Well Scoutie is having a wonderful time with some good family friends who hail from La Jolla (pronounced La-hoya). She is getting a tour of California that we could NEVER have given her becasue it is not our home state. The Francii know the good parts like the back of their hands and so Scout is having a once in a life time trip.

She has been gone for two weeks solid now and will not return until late late Sunday night.
:o(
We miss her dreadfully.

They send me photos every day, which are available HERE

One of the high lights of trip was a visit to the one and only REAL wardrobe, which belonged to C.S. Lewis and is actually referred to in the Narnia Books. (The wardrobe at Wheaton, while owned my Mr Lewis, does not fit the description of the one true wardrobe listed in the books.)
The images of this find are located HERE.


Kinda cool, huh?

March 24 Minutae

1: How I detest Microsoft and yet they temporarily have me by the throat. (Vista and IE7 are the driving forces behind my new desire to make the uber-expensive switch to Mac.

2: I am experiencing such depression regarding the lack of relationship between Adobe's Creative Suite 3 and Vista. After our homeschool group ponied up $2000 for 10 licenses, 7 out of 10 of them have stopped loading, refuse to completely un-install, making it impossible to re-install. When many of us called Microsoft, we were either re-routed and our calls never picked up (I personally sat there for 45 minutes with not even a "sorry please continue to hold" message) or we were told that we had pirated versions. After one parent spent hours researching the dilemma, he discovered that ours is not an isolated incident. There are many blogs and forums with many entries from small companies and folks like us. All who have legally purchased licenses, and who are running Vista. The gist (fomr what I understand) of the problem appears to be that Vista/Adobe is not recognising the licenses and neither company is offering support. So our tiny school is out $2000 and has to resort to other substandard programs to complete the media arts program.
one gentleman offered the idea that it is when other programs/hardware are introduced into the system that conflicts arise. I can argue that. My daughter's CS3 on her Vista box was one of the first to crash and she is technophobic so she does not load anything on her computer. There are no printers installed, no scanners no other peripheral harware installed that could compete. Her CS3 ran for two months and then cacked.

Big reason for me to stick with my beloved XP for now, and keep running my old CS2.


EASTER:

Had a great Easter. Went to brunch at Pleaides restaurant which just opened here. We had a gift certificate so decided to go and enjoy it. It was absolutely perfect. I have never had a perfect filet mignon. I like it med well. Not Med Rare. Not Well. Medium Well. This one was perfect.
Add in the mimosas and a crab martini and it was a nice afternoon.
We all went home after the meal and took a nap.

Movies:

MacKenzie made a tentative trip to the theatre to see Horton Hears a Who.
She was not sure she was going to like it, but ended up enjoying it, and going back a second time to see it.

The local video store owner managed to procure a copy of an old Tony Randall movie : "The Seven Faces of Dr. Lao" (pronounced Dr. "low")
It is a fantasy film that is certainly fit for the entire family.

So anyway, I rented that today and can't wait to get it on my faux pod.
:o)

So much for today's minutae.

New Horizons?

It's no secret that for about 3 years we have been researching the potential of our family temporarily moving to our beloved and ever-beckoning U.K.

Speaking with friends regarding the costs of living in both England and Scotland (not really checked out Ireland) we have been warching and waiting.

Now, that our eldest is graduating highschool (its freaky and melancholy) there is new potential for relocating. neither of the girls is really "married to this town" or the friends they have here.
And so a new, more economically friendly option is being bantered about :
Baja.
Hypothetically: Rosarita.

Amenities: Beach, sun, the mission "San Vincent Geurerro" is nearby where we could help out regularly at the orphanage. Did I mention this is also a killer place to learn to surf?

Anyway, that is the new idea.

But still.... our hearts hear and desire to heed the call of the "old land."
The land of kilts.
The land of languages that know no vowels.
The land of great literature, Monty Python, Haggis, and "the nation the sent God's truly GOOD news to the entire globe."

but sojourn in baja wouldn't be so bad?
for a little while?
me?
no habla.
Je parle la belle langue.

;o)

Time will tell.

St Pat's Super Mom Potato Soup

In honour of our favorite holiday (next to Christmas) there is a new exciting fun and cheap recipe tht any imbecile can create with even the meanest budget.

Go to "Eating Plebian" to chek out the latest recipe.

Slainte!

Baldric, the Bald Eagle

This is "Baldric"


















The Eagles have come down closer to town for some reason.

The local naturalists have been watching them. They were unaware that they had come so close into town though, which was kinda fun for me, because I got to be the one to make the discoveries - along with Scout. I saw him the first time on Feb 23 right behind one of the motels that borders BLM land. The very next day, we (Scout and I) saw him in the same place, but this time with a juvenile. (Young Bald Eagles are often mottled gold and brown and white colours and are often mistaken for golden eagles.) So anyway...Scout and I have named him "Baldric" and the youth we have named "Henri."

We have collectively seen Baldric in this neighborhood 5 days out of 9.

Cittern Player

Ok this guy is a really good CITTERN PLAYER

I have been searching for this...

THE CITTERN

Today I found it at Dusty Strings in Seattle.

I am so getting one!

The cittern comes from an ancient family of Western European and British Isles instruments, having in common a teardrop shaped body, wire strings typically grouped in pairs and a flat or slightly curved back.

The cittern is typically played with a pick, although there certainly isn’t a rulebook stating that it always must be done so. The whole range of ornaments used in guitar and mandolin apply, including hammer-ons, pull-offs, triplets and even adopted piping tricks such as ‘cranning’.

Semi-open tunings maintain most of the drone effects and easy melodic playing available with completely open tunings, but increase chordal possibilities.
D - A - E - A - E
The high range is open, but a four chord is a lot easier (and better sounding).
D - G - D - A - D

There are two general approaches to stringing the cittern. The first is to use matched pairs (or courses) of strings. Each pair is tuned in unison, as is done with familiar mandolin-family instruments.

A second approach is suggested by historical citterns or by the twelve-string guitar, in which a lighter-gauge string is paired with a heavier to sound the same note an octave apart. This results in a complex, chiming sound with lower string tension and easier possibilities of ornamentation, fast play etc. This setup also shifts the instrument's sound more towards delicacy and treble.

I love how these things sound!

I have no idea yet, what they cost, but I am saving already!

Yay!

Someday...

I will perform an experiment.
For one month I would like to see how much I spend in Disk Candles to light the house, instead of using electric lighting.
Someday...
Someday.

Because I am curious.
That and I ADORE candles!
:o)

To be of simple faith.

Here in America (and perhaps other nations as well?) it is popular in Christian circles, to speak of a thing called "The Rapture" (the removal of Gods people before the terrible trials preceding and accompanying the AntiChrist occur.)
I cannot necessarily hold to this notion.Do I count it as inaccurate?Not I, for I am small and no trained theologian.
I am just not sure. Yet.
I just love my God. That is all.

Even so, I often ask myself (regarding this Rapture notion), how is it that I should be allowed to escape such trials as those similar to what my betters experience every day through out the globe? By "My Betters" I refer to those believing brothers and sisters who, for the sake of the goal of making His truth and love known, endure horrificpersecutions and tortures unspeakable?How is it that we should allow ourselves to imagine that God would spare US, when He requires suchbehaviours as a general rule, and considers such and "offering and sacrifice of Praise," expected rightfully?

Why should I consider myself free from the trials of my betters?
Those people who suffer and die namelessly, unthanked, and unkown, unregarded and often un-missed by the temporal world in which we live. And yet these same nameless "Giants Of The Faith" who offer themselves up daily, receive the rewards Kings only can dream of.
Such Crowns of Glory are reserved for them as a reward, and will be presented to them "On That Day," they will in turn cast their glorious Crowns joyfully, at the feet of their beloved Jesus.

Oh!To gain such a crown to be able to give to Him!
And dare I sat that?

For such a Crown is bought at great sacrifice.
At the cost of self.Self desires and self convenience, Self expression and personal standing in society.
At the price often of ones own life.
Am I able to count the cost before I dare utter such words?
Even in the secrecy of my own head and heart?
Oh indeed the words may come glibly at first - but am I REALLY willing to "Earn" such a crown to be able to give to Him?

Honestly? I want to answer Yes! But I cannot easily say it if I am to search my own heart in Truth......which is really what He wants.

Things to think about.

Would that my faith were simple and pure.

Goodbye Gina...

...we'll miss you.

I guess you really do get to be "Home" for Christmas this year.

Blessings on you until we meet again on that day.

Read more: "Sisters Oregon Woman Found Dead"

Uganda and Stuph...

Well it has been a crazy set of weeks.
Stu left on the 29th of November for Uganda.
He had a blast, visiting with the kid we sponsor, (Obed) and his family.
He took a poop-load of pics which I am keen to turn into a coffee table book and get emergency printing on so it can be ready for Cmas.
Scout got her copy of the American Treasury of Poetry, which her poem appeared in, courtesy of her teacher sponsoring it. Blake an dAndrew shot Andrews entrance exam video for Chapman. The construction on Dad's addition to our home goes slower and slower with each passing day (or so it seems). I look forward to the new year, in that my dad will be in his OWN space and I shall get MINE back. Then I will be able to paint and to play music undistracted again. We will re-do MacKenzies bedroom then (currently being inhabited by gramps, Kenzie is living in the dining room). To inspire and encourage myself, I look at Pottery Barn Books checked out from the library. I have now discovered my "New" dining room and will work on it as soon as I finish MacKenzies remodel. She is looking at a Japanese/Anime inspired room.
And of course, after all is said and done, I will begin to overhaul "The Cube."

The Cube is what we refer to as the Editing Suite.
Since the "really good" computers are out there, that is where I play my games. (One game loaded at a time, as I do not want to take up noticable real estate on the work computers.) Anyway, there are two matching couches out there and one of them has two recliners built in to either side.
I can see this becoming a real sweet place to chill as well as work.

I did sort of quit my job (down to 2 or 3 days a month) so that I will be able to care for my dad.
This of course means I will be taking on the extra expense of personal counseling, as I seek for ways to deal with him on an increasingly personal basis.
People!
Kids were NOT meant to go back and live with their parents.
Its just wrong.
Although I know God DOES say in scripture that we are to "honour our mother and father" and I believe that taking "care" of them in their old age is a part of this.
Still...
there are moments when I want to throttle the old coot.
(Not a literal translation. Not to be taken literally.)
Anyway.
That is the scuttle-butt.

Beach Bash

Last weekend I took 6 teens to the beach for the weekend. It was awesome! The first night they stayed up until 4am. (How did I know? yes, I was quasi-awake too.) The 2nd night they stayed up until 6am, with a few stragglers pooping-out at about 3:30 or 4am. They had fun nailing one kid with whipping cream and tooth-paste while he slept. They built a beach fire and played capture the flag in the dark. We went to the Shipwreck "Petr Ireldale" ad once again to Fort Battery Russell, which ws manned during WWII.

Stu has Entered the Blogosphere

Put your helmets on people!

After watching the steady deterioration of our local news reporting rag, despite the many qualified and excellent contributors, Stu has decided to publish his own commentaries on life in our small town.

Now you can get ALL of the news (and probably a whole lot more) at SistersBlog.

Comprehensive Auto Ins

Dull title for a post, but thrilling concept for me as I revel in the knowledge that I am so glad I did not cancl it back in July, but completely for to.
The total damages to my car from hitting the stupid deer are in the area of $3200.
The car should be back, all fixed up and ready to go, by next week!

yay!

Would a Muslim do it? Then Christian, why won't you?

Would a muslim do it?
Then Christian, why would you?
Would you stand for being ostrcized, and go in to "Camoflauge mode" as a Christian, just to "get along wth others?"
Would a mulim do that?
Then Christian, why would you?
As American Christians, we have lost our first love in many cases.
We could learn a little bit from the Muslims.
They do not sit by idly while their god is mocked.
They get hot-headed and flip out about it.
Oh you , who sing glibly in the pews, "I will love you fore ever, Jesus," need to eat your words or perform them publicly.
Shamefully enough to admit, I am among you in this sin.
We need to stand up and be counted.
This is supposedly a free country.
Freedom of speech - remember that?
Why do we let others trample us, with the freedoms we should be excersizing as well?

He who would would save his life, will lose it.
If you aknowledge me before men, so will I acknowledge you before my Father in Heaven.

Wake up oh sleepers.
It is time to stand and fight or be cut down.
The army decimated while we sleep.
I am a Christian.
Think of that what you will.
This has become the age of "Christian Bashing" in America.
You can be any other religion in America, and be treatd as free-unless you are of a Judeo-Christian faith.
Nero is still alive people.
He is just more sleek, and attractive now. Beguiling the masses.
I say its time to wake up Christian.
YOu could not be more offensive.
You don't have to do anything to be offensive.
You just have to exist, as you are, leading a quiet but obviously Christian lifestyle, and you will be hated.
That is the kind of offensive behaviour we need more of.
And so say all of us.
I am a Christian.
I have the right to call public school officials out on the carpet when they persecute my children (or other Christian children) in class.
Do I do this?
No.
Why?
Because to do so would set my student up for further attack and ostracizing.
The majority of parents in this town (nation?) know what goes on, and we do not stand up because we are isolated from each other and afraid together.
We need to stand together and take some action as a group.
They can't persecute our kids if we all come forward with our own stories of what things have occurred.
Where is the ACLU for me?
Do I not count because I am a white christian?

IT is not ok to just "go with the flow" when the flow is going at a galloping run straight into Hell, offending the Creator of the universe at every opportunity, and trying to drag me and my kids with it.
It is time to stand and be counted, whether you are Democrat, Republican, Libertarian or pink with purple polka dots.Would a Muslim tke this kinda crap from his government?Then why on earth do we?

Blips on the Radar

Coming up for air...

Just hit a deer, photos of car to follow eventually.
It was gross.
Car still driveable, everybody ok (except the deer).

Mon, Wed, Fridays - I am taking my dad on his errands and volunteering at the school
Tues Thurs I am working.

Saturday, I try to sleep in until 7am and then try to catch up on tasks.
Sunday, Laundry and bathrooms and vaccuuming, then GAME DAY!!!!!!

Go to bed at night ans do it all again.

This weekend is different.
Its my daughters 15th birthday.
We are going to the beach for the weekend with 6 teens.
IT should be hilarious.
I plan to watch movies when I am not driving them all around.
:o)

Should be good!

I haven't painted anything new in months.
My "space" is all ....uh..."wrong."
Half of art creation is the environment.
I have six people living in a space designed for 4 and a half.
My Dad is in my daughters room, My daughter is in the dining room. My dining roon is in the family room and I am going crazy for lack of space and too much time spent with an elderly abusive old coot.
Am I in counseling for this at the moment?
You BET!

I will see you guys all again soon.
Love,

mih-
(Thanks Pat for the WONDERFUL Jacqui Lawson Halloween card!)

Artist Spotlight : Steam Werkes

By day, Bryan is a web designer and I.T. Guru in the busy,"run and gun" broadcasting industry of Central Ohio.

He has managed to carve out a spare hour or two recently to venture into the realms of corporeal art.

Please keep an eye on"Steam Werkes"and Bryan's growing gallery of "practical application scultpures," designed to serve an elegant and modern world, while transporting us back in time, to a golden era of invention and ingenuity.

Lets call the whole thing Tomate

You know you've done something right when your teen kids think it is amazing to watch Disney's Alladin in English! Or Disney's Oliver and Company, or Disney's "Les Aristochats."

It is fun to watch their language experience play out in school now, as well. Both Scout and MacKenzie started Latin in 3rd grade and continued well into middle school. All of the kids were exposed to colloqial Parisien French during their growing years and now they are taking mandatory Spanish in high school. Scout also has a passion for Italian which she has been learning on her own. It is a crazy thing to watch them figure out how to conjugate verbs in Spanish. They are speaking any language BUT Spanish.
Its cute and I feel proud of myself.

They will probably never be fluent in any one language, but at least they will be able to make themselves understood in at least 3.

Ahhh my job here is done.

:o)

The Holy Observer cracks me UP!

The Question for debate today?
"What would Paul (the apostle) say if he were dumped off somewhere in modern day America?"
Read and write your own answer...snerk!

What is wrong with this picture?

This is the recycling center for the town of Sisters Oregon. The previous location for the site is under construction so meanwhile, they have moved the whole operation to a temporary location.

For a town that is Supposedly made up of smart people, why is it they behave like they have a collective IQ of 90?

What does the word "NO" mean?

It just goes to show you that though people may have a poop-load of money, they are no better than the average imbecile.

Recreation is medicine to the soul...

In a moment of desperation, I Loaded the PhysX drivers into the"business" computer in the Media Center (aka "The Cube") for the first time EVER, since it has been in my posession, Myst IV: Revelation, played through smoothly and flawlessly. Lets hope it stays that way. If I keep only one game loaded at a time, I should be able to play all of my Myst games.

After 2 hours in Tomahna, I have to say that I feel quite refreshed

Christian Beware...The update-updated!!!

...and you "heathen dogs" too!
;o)

The Onion's "Holy Observer" is back!

I love this site as it pokes fun at every one:
Religious and irreligious alike...

...although if you have had any Sunday School/Catechism in your background you will probably find this site more humourous than someone who has not.

Gotta love headlines like:

-Young Earth Creationist Convention Starts Off With a Bang.
-Benny Hinn Unable to "Heal" Stalled SUV.
-Left Behind Fan Club Misses Bus.
-God's Message to Intercessors:Just STOP saying "just!"
-Millions More Damned for Harry Potter Related Sins.
And for the Gaming Fan: a new release of D&D ("Demons and Deacons")

They once posted an advertisement on the main page in one of the sidebars. It was a typical enough add and one that I overlooked for a long time. It was a "Mock Ad" for yet another new Thomas Kinkade product

It was for Thomas Kinkade limited edition Toilet paper : put the "Painter of Light" where the sun don't shine.

I wish they would bring THAT ad back.
:o)



*****UPDATE!!!

The Thomas Kinkade ad IS there. on the left side bar.

I also notice they have brought back the contests for the church signs and what-not as well.


*****UPDATED UPDATE!!!!
Btu wait it gets better, you can also visit the original TheOnion.com, producer of the Holy Observer.
And you have to love the store(s):

http://store.theonion.com/

Any particular favourite ,the "Drink Ware"
Aren't you happy?

My new favourite thing

It exemplifies all of my views about our day to day existence upon the face of this earth.
It is a video that I found on my daughters profile at MySpace.
I was blown away because of the story - told by abstract theatre- (the means of delivery making the story even more real to me.

Anyway, I re-posted the vid at my own MySpace.
Scroll down past the crap and you will find the vid.
Its the only one there.
If you want to know what drives me, these are the concepts that help me to deal with every day.

Oh yeah - and btw, I think the profile song auto-starts so you can click that off if you want to, or let it finish. What ever.

Local Residents Evacuate, as the GW Fire chews up real estate

Residents of Black Butte Oregon, who were given a pre-evacuation alert on Friday, are now carrying out a full scale evacuation. The Red Cross has set up a shelter at Sisters Community Church. The GW fire was originally started during a lightning storm last week. It is burning a narrow strip of land between what was the Cache Mtn Fire of 2005 and the George Lake Fire of last summer. For further updates visit the Nugget News.

Click Here to View Larger Image

Who decided that an opinion about War was a moral issue worthy of Damnation - either for or against?

Since when was it considered Evil to be in favour of a War?
Who decided they were worthy to pass such judgements upon me?

Since when did it become Ungodly to denounce a War?
Who sat in the pew and considered themselves worthy to pass such judgements upon me?

Who decided that an opinion about this particular War was a moral issue worthy of Damnation - either for, or against?

Is God against war?
No.
It is He himself who set the Israelites against the inhabitants of Canaan. His words were that they should kill ALL, from the most elderly to the infant.

Is He in favour of war?
No.
He desires that we live in love, not merely looking out for our own needs, but also for the needs of others. Considering our neighbors needs as more important than our own.

Both are equally true.

Desperate Respite

"...waiting..."




























Nothing says "rest" better to me, than an instrument, a camp chair and an ale.

Observations # 482 "The Melt-Up"

Observation:
The episode, which will be hereafter referred to as The Tape Measure Episode(tm), is not "normal". While I was rendered unable to process it temporarily, there was something about the whole incident that was ...familiar. Maybe not such a good thing, that. Strange that i thought it was something akin to "normal." Then I remembered today that my childhood was fraught with such instances. Oh well. That was then, This is now. But it explains some things I hadn't considered before.

Observation:
I am a bohemian-hippie-pseudo-intellectual, trapped in the lifestyle of a high-powered-supermom-exec, and all of it's miss=begotten expectations.
Something had to blow sooner or later.
Now the trick is, how to get back where I was 20 years ago, while still managing to retain the really good organizational elements of my personality.

Yes kiddies, its probably going to be the thing you hate:

The purging blog post.

From time to time, you might end up in a dreadful melange of the mental purgings of a Mid America Housewife fed up with the status quo, and the neurotic mental meanderings of the angst ridden "artiste."

Bon Appetit.

Happiness is finding the right Sign.














After driving another 19 hours, we arrived home on Saturday night at 11:45.
I feel Macho. Having made the trip from Rochester to Central Oregon in 46 hours.
The next day Stu got up at 6am and went to work until 1pm, ten we met down at the storage unit for the unloading "party."
It's no party you would want to be invited to.





























Scout and MacKenzie take a break in one of Grampa's hand built/restored sleighs.
As you can see, we got it all into a storage unit.

Since this was Sunday, I had a whole afternoon to go home and get Scout packed for camp, and rest.

Monday saw us driving 3hours to Portland and back to drop Scout off at Camp, Pick Blake up from Camp and get my car, which was parked near the airport.

Tuesday saw me driving once again, back to Portland (6 hours) to return Blake to his job at camp.

I had 3 days to collapse, and then it was back on a plane again for a Saturday night Red-eye back to Rhode Island to get my dad.
We flew out Monday to bring him to Oregon for good.
our plane out of Chicago was delayed (surprise) and therefore, we missed our connecting flight from portland to Redmond. I suddenly had to rent a car and drive the rest of the freakin way from Portland to Redmond/Sisters arriving with Dad in tow, at 2am Tuesday Morning.

Thus completes the epic tale of the Hateful Odyssey.

The End.
(***sob!***)

The H. Odyssey, Part III : Finally!

To make a long story even longer...

...on the nearly 3rd day of entrapment in Rochester NY, we moved from our digs at the Microtel into the office of the Penn-Allison repair center for Upstate NY.
Uhaul sent a moving crew, informing us that the uhaul could NOT be fixed and so we were going to need to transload. Heh! They had no clue what was in this truck!
They sent a young guy and a teen boy, with a deadline of three hours to complete the transfer.

BAH - hahahahah! It is to laff!

We called them back and said, "NO. You need to send two more grown men and a 5-6 hour deadline.

In the mean time, the mechanic came out and said, "We could potentially have this thing fixed in 3 hours. We foudn the problem. Its the Tranny solenoid. We called Uhaul and said put a hold on the transload.

After 2.5 hours the mechanic discovered that his theory yielded yet another dead end.

By now I am slathering all over myself to get out of this frikkin town. Its late Thursday afternoon. I gotta be home by Saturday night people!!!!

So, we call the Transload team at Uhaul again.
10 minutes later, Mechanic has indeed found the problem at last:

(drum-freakin-roll please...)


During assembly, the metal clamp that fastens the wires leading to the tranny has a "blemish" resulting in what amounts to a "hanging chad" piece of metal which chafed the wiring and caused a short. The entire mess was sealed up in electrical tape - which is what (presumably) contributed to the difficulty in locating the exact problem.

So, its 4:45 pm and we are LEAVING Rochester.
(The clouds parted, and the Heavenly Host sang a chorus.)

Now Pennsylvania is a lovely state, but I was stunned by the beauty that is Ohio.
Chrissie Hynde asked, "Hey! Oh! Where'd ya go Ohio?" but dang! I say I found it!
It is very beautiful. Lush and green, with rolling hills akin to Telly-Tubby land and fluffy-green-topped trees like I might envision in a Narnia book as described by Lewis himself.
I was not prepared to find as lovely a state as my own, but I stand corrected.
(Bryan this is not a suck-up.) ;o)

And just to prove that I did actually set foot in Ohio, I shot a video as we passed through Cleveland, being careful to make note of the AKRON/CANTON exit.

(Of course "Cleveland Dave" had to point out the lameness of my attempted humour in the comments section at You Tube, but hey! - it was late! I was tired, and my synapses weren't firing.)


I'm just sayin...

Video Alert: Passing Through Cleveland


After this point, I really lost consciousness.
Due to our now dire state of travel deadlines, it was imperative that we drive non-stop.
Therefore it was the duty of any passenger to make sure to sleep, so as to be fresh when the other driver tired.
(Ohio also has glamourous truck plaza's)
I missed Illinois and Chicago entirely and woke up somewhere in Indiana.
Stu and I took turns driving through out the day(s) and progressed though Iowa, etc.


Nebraska is flat...














Video Alert: Spectacular Vistas

And so is Wyoming...

The only redeeming quality that I can find to Wyoming is that there are the Tetons and Yellowstone - someplace in the North...unfortunately not anywhere near where I was on this trip.

After 27 hours of driving non-stop we came to rest in Cheyenne WY
After a restful nights sleep, we started again.


Utah is also a VERY beautiful state, but one that I do not wish to comment upon today, due to the unfortunate accident and resulting fight Stu and I had about how to maneuver a BIG-Frikkin-Uhaul into a very small, busy gas station that was never made for it.
I loved Morgan Utah, until this day.

'nuff said.

More to follow...

The H. Odyssey, Part II : New York, New York, It's (not) My Kinda State.


So we loaded up one single 28 foot Uhaul straight off the assembly line up in Walpole Mass.

We had the priviledge of being the first ones to break it in.

Loading this thang!

















The Moving Crew, from left to Right:
Louie Bro-in-law Dana, Stu and Dad.

Video Alert: The House Dad Left Behind. (Serious (!) Birdsong action.)


The link below takes you to a privious entry here at the blog which describes the glorious beginning of our journey through New England: ---Odyssey Begins---


Video Alert: Stu comments on the approaching storm and the Blessed Institution we call "U-Haul."

Video Alert: Waiting for the Tow Truck. (aka "Dude is there an open-container law in this state?)


More to follow....soonish...

The H. Odyssey, Part I : Rhode Island

I am so FAR behind.
Apologies to those who think I am dead.
(Bryan reminded me of this this morning with a phone call asking if we survived.)
Poor Blue Max.
Between Lehsa's "Water World" and my Microtel Stranding, dude must have felt as if all his "people" were AWOL.
So, without further ado I will upload the first smattering of images depicting the Hateful Odyssey:

Dad and his best friend from the time he was a child.

Blue is my dad's dog. Blue remained behind and moved to a lovely farm in Tiverton where she is treated as the respectable person she is, and not jailed 24/7 on an old man's porch.
Her liberty has come.

Courtney and Jessie. Jessie found a lovely new home at the

same Tiverton farm as Blue. Courtney stayed at her same house.

;o)

And now...a story...

So this ocurred a month or more ago while I was in Rhode Island.

Dad, Frankie (a cousin) and I are up in the loft of the barn and we are taking the wheels off the buggies and getting them labeled and ready to pack. I am also measuring each buggy and sleigh so that I can gauge how large or how many Uhaul trucks might be required to stransfer all this cra-I mean "stuff" from Rhode Island to Oregon. in the process, the spring insid ethe tape measure snapped.

I said: "dad, I think the speing in this tape measure just broke."

Dad swore and grabbed the tape measure out of my hand.

He attempted to reinsert the tape and when he couldn't he began wildly yanking it ALL out - temper tanrum style.

I said: "dad I'm really sorry, we can go to the hardware store tomorrow and I will buy you a new one."

He said : You can't ever buy another one of These! They don't make These anymore."

Suddenly, I was transported back through time. I was reduced to a 5 year old, being harshed out about whatever I have done can NEVER be forgiven and I must forever be damned in this hell of inadequacy, ever to grovel before him.

My temper flared.

During all this time, I somehow lost track of where Frankie went.

I said : "well fine then! So sue me!"

He hurled the tape measure and its web of yanked out tape across the barn and against the wall with all of his 80 year old man gusto.

Silence.

Going back to tasks.

Frankie walks in, with a tape measure in hand. (pictured above.)

He takes dad's hand and places it in his palm and says: "Here Bill! I want you to have this. It is a great tape measure...etc...and he begins to describe all the many miraculous and helpful functions of this tape measure.

Dad is very thankful and accepts the gift.

I am still chopped liver, but at least Frankie has deflected the fires.

Frankie looks at me as if to say, "I saw what happened and you aren't crazy. This really happened."

It took me DAYS top process what happened.

It was like a huge gap in my critical thinking abilities that denied me access to the comprehension areas of my brain. (Blue - keep your comment to yourself! ;o) )

I took this photo to remind me again, once dad was actually living in my house, that I must never react again, and not let my temper flare. I must not permit him to reduce me to a 5 year old ever again.

Frankie also agreed to pose for this photo with Dad and his daughter Courtney. At the last minute Stu placed a "prop" in Frankie's hand. See below...

More to follow.....

Glub Glub Glub...

Just for the record...
I have no drowned.
I am not underwater.
I have not been in a high water rescue.
And...
My apt is seeing sky and not fishes out the windows.

So yeah... if you heard about the rains, they're bad but I'm ok.
Luckily I live near work and we are closing at 5 pm.

~L~

Weary catch up?

So today I spent another 8 hours on the road, taking and picking up kids from camp, and will do another 6 hours tomorrow. I thought that once all of this stuff started getting close to winding down or ending, I might have some sort of physical backlash take hold as a result of the months of ongoing stress. Funny, that. Right now, I am bordering on weepy and am really shakey. And disoriented. I think if I go do laundry and dishes, maybe it will subside. Maybe staying busy will help.
I dunno.
It just kinda weirds me out, so I figured I would take a sec and blog it.

There it is.

Road Trip Photo

I took this photo while Stu and I were killing time (for the 3rd time) at the only landmark within walking distance - Chili's Restaurant. By this time, the claustrophobic experience and the libreral application of Guiness had reduced us to blithering idiots. As evidenced by my text message to Bryan, which he recorded here at this blog "Cry Havoc."

Update #3 : STRANDED-DAY 1...

The first day of driving started out well. Our lovely brand new, 28ft U-Haul truck had just come off the assembly line with only 92 miles on it. Ahhhh the "New Car" smell!

We left Rhode Island at 4am and entered Mass, as the sun came up.

We bid a fond farewell to the ocean and...

headed north and west toward the Birkshires.

While Stu drove the first leg of the trip, I counted the travel money in our ever-so-fancy money bag.

And I navigated...and zoned out with my MP3 player.

We passed by lovely farm land and serene, slow flowing rivers. Our brand new truck, sailed along smoothly.

Until we pulled off at the Tim Hortons Rest-frikkin-Stop outside of Rochester/Victor New York.

Suddenly our brand new truck hot off the assembly line did not want to go in gear. Oh sure...it would go in reverse, but I have no intention of driving all the rest of the way to Oregon in REVERSE!

Waiting...

Waiting...

....for the tow truck from Rochester to come and fetch us to who-knows-where...

Good thing we had food!

A lovely thunder and lightening storm arrived while we waited...

And...

Waited....

And ate some more yummy healthful foods...

Eventually the tow truck arrived and hauled us to the Managerial training site for Western New Yorks U-Haul employees. Each one bent on making us happy. They dragged the wretched beast off to the GM dealership to deal with it, and they put us up in the local "Microtel".
Unfortunately, LPGA is in town and ALL the motels are booked with the exception of this one SMOKING (!) room. (Was it Divine Providence, More Testing of Patience, or both?)

Anyway...here we sit...wasting valuable driving hours in this tacky motel.

I am CERTAIN, that some of those LPGA women could drag our truck the rest of the way to Oregon if we recompensed them properly.

Anyway, tomorrow is another day.

A scultpure a day...

Ok so, Tina sent me this amazing collection of sculptures using plain household Scotch Tape(tm).
I will be loading these images over the course of the next few days. If you know who the sculptor is, please share his or her name. I think these are AMAZING!!!!

Old SCA Promo Video

THIS POST WAS UPDATED JUNE 11, PM.
(with regard to the changed video link at the bottom of the post.)

Stu shot and edited this about 3 years ago.
The YouTube.com compression plays havoc with the original broadcast quality - which I am sure you are well aware of anyway, but I thought I would point out that we do NOT produce video that "looks" like this.

Scout, who is graduating from Sisters Christian academy's 8th grade, and I stumbled upon the Master copy of this old promo the day after her graduating ceremonies. We watched it and blubbered our eyes out because she knew and remembered all the students, older and younger, for her 8 years at this school. I blubbered because I had more than 75% of them as Art history students while I taught there. Remembering each kid, his or her bents. if he or she were labeled as a troubled kid - funny - those labeled as "Trouble" seemed to be unusually gifted and attentive art students - anyway...Stu is collecting footage this year to create the next new marketing video for next year. No matter how the school changes its name, whether it creates another highschool class or doesn't, it is a family of alumni and current students and faculty that give the whole place a sense of "home and family" as opposed "insitution" that makes it unique an beautiful.
Anyway...the vid is here...

Back!...for today anyway....

...so the kids are watching Amercia's Got Talent. I swear that Piers Morgan is the rudest thing since the invention of the colonoscopy! He just came unglued all over some little girls and tore them apart. What a nit.
Anyway...other than that, the show is pretty hilarious.

Tomorrow Scout has her 8th grade graduation and then it is back to prepping to return to RI on the 15th to make the Uhaul trip. Cross the US from the Atlantic to the PAcific in 4 days or less.
Yes friends.
That is the plan.
And then I will fly BACK to RI and get my dad on the 30th.

Then it will be finished.
The travelling part anyway.
And I will collapse.

Still in Rhode Island

I have been without a computer now for 10 (count them TEN!!!) days. Oh sure I have been able to go to my sisters and borrow theres a couple of times, but it is NOT the same.
Even so, I am grateful.
Without them I would have needed sedation by now.
So anyway, I return to Oregon Wednesday night and begin a new regimen. Instead of running herd on my dad, and packign up 12 years of his packrat household, Barns and Sheds, I will hit the ground with my feet running, and commence building planning. I arrive at Home at 4:30 on Wednesday and have a 5pm meeting with our Contractor.
Then I will sit down with my kids, and watch a rousing segment of Monty Python's Flying Circus.
Thursday is MacKenzie fields trips to rock climbing and volcanic interpretive sites and I will work at the Pony while Nadean has her Knee surgery. The weekend will be a true "let down" time. (I hope). Then the week will begin anew with me coordinating the rest of the move from Rhode Island to Oregon. Stu and I will fly the red eye out of Portland on June 15th, arrive in Providence afternoon of 16th. Pack the U-Haul's on the 17th and 18 and start driving the 19th.

Bryan - we will be passing though Ohio - hopefully by-passing Cleveland - especially at high traffic times. We may skirt that town and then stop and kick back some where for a few hours and press through in the evening. Of course this is all so tentative. If we end up in the area in the night anyway we will just blast on through.

The plan is to drive straight through, only sleeping in the cabs at rest areas when we need rest and taking one night in a motel. We plan to make the drive in 3.5 to fours days.

I LOVE the idea!
My only fear is driving my own u-haul through the cities, but more than likely I will have the short U-haul, and hopefully no vehicle trailer. If Stu pulls the shorty with a trailer, then I will have to drive the big truck. (26 ft).

Anyway, thats the plan.

Sorry we aren't going thru Texas Leh!

I fly back to RI on June 30th (red-eye) and fly my dad back to Oregon on July second and then its all done!...

...except...

I have decided that it is too much fun seeing my sister, and if I can work a few days a month a Pony, I can earn enough for a round trip ticket and rental car every 3 months and go stay with her for a week!!!!

With my dad living with me, I will appreciate the vacation, and believe I will have earned it!

:o)

There!

We

Fasting Reply

Well... you are better than I.

When we had the 18 hour power outage a few weeks back, I was already loopy after a couple of hours.

I tried to go to other places outside of my apt till 3 am so I could be sure I'd go back to AC, a working fan and working electronics. Nada... so I had to do what I could... watch PBS on the ancient portable b/w tv my folks let me have way back when. Kept me from completely losing my mind. LOL And I had my little grundig handheld radio with shortwave. :D

Like Homer said to his tv: "Let's never fight again!" ;)

~L~

NEVER again! neeeVER!!!!

I will never ever again leave my laptop home.
The withdrawls are debillitating.
I am crippled and need a daily fix of internet.
In the morning with my coffee.
In the afternoon right before dinner and again before I go to sleep.
I NEEEEEEEEDDDDd interNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It has only been 3 days.
I am going loopy.

Fasting

Fasting...doing without something...for a period of time...in order to utilize that time/energy to
commit to achieving something else valuable.

So when I leave for my next stint in Rhode Island on Saturday I will NOt be taking my computer.
I will be "Fasting" from my comp.
(*bites own finger and swoons*)
Yes its true.
Instead, I will be hauling my fiddle to Rhode Island.
I figure its a safe place to really devote time to proper practice, after all, my dad is nearly deaf and at the ripe age of 80 years, he tends to fall asleep at 7pm.
Each evening I am free to practice without threat of injuring the sensibilities of any one within earshot.

I hope to come back with at least some rudimentary bow skills.

Its like the foreign language equivalent to immersion.

The violin and I have shared a life long love-hate relationship.
I was first chair in elementary school but dropped it like ahot potato when I got to 6th grade.
How sad.
I lost what could have been.
So at least I can start with basics I already know.

I wonder where Chucker is these days.
He has played for 9+ years.
I should like to glean stuff from him - ad then there is Moleculo who is also a seasoned player.
WHere are these peopel when I need them?
Why do they not harken unto me?
WHo DO I think I am anyway.
;o)
Anyway...
as of Saturday I will be completely "unplugged" until the 30th of May.
(I hope I survive.)
;o)

Hmmm...

Well, Miss Mishehl,

Don't know if I can find a pic beyond when I moved to SA. LOL
I'll have to do a look when i go home this next weekend should all go well.

I have to warn you, I was a bald child up till 2 yrs of age. :blush:
But I should maybe find the pic of my brother feeding me Lucky Charms.
It's a cute pic. I think I was 3 and I actually remember when it was taken.

I liked your pics. You and Mac have similar features in your pics. I liked that you had short hair in Elementary. I think mine was cut in 4th grade so I'll have to find one of my pics with the giganto pigtails from heck. I think those things would have made some great arm weights. I had enough hair that when my mom made princess leia rolls in my hair, it felt like two plaster of paris fritters were on either side of my head. It was heavy! :P Don't think I have a pic of that though which is sad... it was interesting from what I recall of it.

So anyhow... I guess enough sharing. *giggle*

I'm still waiting for my electricity to come back at my apt.
15 hours of lovely darkness... read my blog.
I'm at work now which is my only relief. (laughs insanely)

~L~

UPDATED : Foto-Rama!!

Tina reminded me yesterday that it has been a long while since I updated my blog.
To bring us up-to-date:

-Went to Dad's. Packed up the barn. (Dad is an 80 year old Pack-Rat.)
-Injured rotator cuff at the gymn. Still hurt.
-Scout had a hospital visit.
-Sold dad's house within a week without listing it and with NO banks involved. (Thank YOU GOD!!!!)
-House closes next week.
-Paid off the majority of Dad/s medical bills.
-put on 7 lbs becasue Rhode Island is seriously over populated by Dunkin' Donuts. Dad wanted to go there every morning.
-Came home.
-Blakes Jr. Prom. Drove to Portland, picked up date. Created bedroom for date while she stayed here.
(see Below)
















Blake and Casey














Blake, Casey, Andrew, Franci and Andrew's
Dad's Sweet Ride.


-I am now prepping for new construction here, to build the addition where my dad will live once he arrives here in Oregon, from R.I.
(See Beta-Addition below)










-I have been working with a group from the community, to create a Highschool Alternative, as our local educators have crossed the line with their heavy handed, autocratic behaviours. Our goal is to have additional grades of 9 and 10 added to the Private school here in town which currently only goes Pre - 8th. We are looking for a seperate campus and scouting out interest.
I am on the committee that collects community information to access the demand for a High School alternative.

-MacKenzies 12th birthday was yesterday, and her party will be on Saturday next.

-Mothers Day Tea will be held Friday at the Private School and the girls have informed me that I am to provide elementary and childhood fotoz of myself for the collage of Mom's.

Hence the offering below.

















Me age 2yrs



















Me Age 3 yrs






















Me 3rd Grade






















First Day of 4th Grade




















4rth Grade





















5th Grade


Challenge is hereby issued to L. DG, and to B Siegfried (and I don't mean "Beth.") to step out courageously and post similar age fotoz of themselves.

*throws down white gloves.*

;o)


UPDATE:

Scout had a project for school this week requiring fotoz of herself as a wee tot.

Hence the additional foto-rama below:

Nor' Easter hits Rhode Island

...and I get a second row seat! (which was still pretty danged good!)
It was lovely!
The wind blew so hard, the house shook!
The power went off and on, and the rain blew sideways.
Oh sure...
to many of you this is not such a great thrill, but this is not the sort of storm we get typically in the high alpine desert.
And so I spent a large portion of the wee-hours pacing the upstairs compartment that is my room, with a lovely glass of diet tonic water in my hand and 6 of the vanilla scented candles lit, enjoying the fierce winds as they whistled around and through the house - making the candles flicker.
Such moments - in quiet partaking - are what life is made of.
Many moments.
A secret smile witnessed on the face of a child.
I laugh shared between baby and parent.
The tremor of an earthquake felt as the trees bow to the soil.
The awesome glory of the ash plume given to the sky by the volcano...
moments of silence. Taking only minutes or seconds, are glimpses of the perfect peace of eternity.
At least I think so.
:O)
This particular storm ROCKED!!!!!!!!!!

And then, the dog rolled in some horse poo so I had to depart from my reveries to bathe the stink off her.

The ethereal moment is replaced by the mundane.
Thus the ethereal finds it's value.
;o)

Lawn Bard

Lawn Bard.
The older I get, the more I cry.
Why?
There are many reasons to weep for joy.
Poignant, perfect stories and the people who live them.
Man's life truly is like a blade of grass.
Living briefly - for a season only.
He grows and lives and withers with the end of autumn.
I sit on my porch and gaze out over a cup of tea, at the new life growing on my lawn in springtime.
Each blade of grass, as an individual life - each one with a living story worthy of telling.
That is how man's life is.
Brief, it flowers, it withers, it dies.
When you walk down a city street,
Whether you are in Peoria Illinois, New Delhi, or London,
You pass people on the street.
Each face, each set of eyes bears an epic worth telling, worth remembering.
Each life is a story.
The telling, from start to finish, may be long, taking many nights before a winter-warmed hearth, or may be so brief as to lend itself to a bedtime story.
Each one is worth the telling.
Each one WILL be told.
Each one is worth the remembering.
Each one WILL be remembered.
Many pass far too quickly for those around to take time to notice and commit the telling to memory...except God.
He is the Great Author, as well as The Great Bard.
When all things end, all of the Books will be opened.
All of the stories told.
Each story a comedy, a drama, a tragedy and often, a Victory, combined.
We will hear them all in the twinkling of an eye.
Stories of quiet greatness, that went overlooked and untold here while we wore this Fleshly Tent, they will be told and sung by the Greatest Bard Who Is Ever Living.
And so, on this lovely early spring afternoon,
I sit on the porch, and watch the lawn return anew, and think.

Daydreaming: This post is for my dear friend who hates Sin and loves Love and truth. :o)

We all like to daydream.
Even when we don't plan to, we sometimes find ourselves in the midst of it.
Daydreaming of the future, or of days gone by.
Of friends and foes, of being worthy of such.
What ever.
Me, I wonder if I am odd.
(well decidedly so!...but...)
certainly there must be others because I am not likely special in this.
SometimesI daydream about worshipping God.
With friends and people I have come to hold dear.
People like my friends KiKi, or Pete B. Carl T or Jason and Ran and Rich and Ang, and Bryan an d Peej, Tina and Leh and a host of others. Many, many others. The Pratt even...
To be caught up together,
in the ENDLESS CHORD,
in the song of angels and the music of Charis.
Certainly there are others who have such daydreams?
Such imaginings?
Who are they?
Who are you?
Certainly I do not sing alone?
Decidedly not!
Someday I hope
(and not blindly)
that we will be together, properly installed in eternity in His presence.
We will sing.
Together revelling in the Reciever of the song, and in the sharing of the singing.
The sharing of the Chord.
Dissonant and releasing all through out eternity.
It will be perfect.
:o)

Paint Jobs and Cardiac events

So apparently my dad had a "cardiac event" during the night. During the course of the day we discovered that there is swelling around his feet and ankles and now even into his legs, as well as fluid around his heart. So Judy, my step-Sis is visiting him. "How long has this swelling been going on?" she asks him. "Oh for about 4 weeks or so." Four weeks??? 4 freakin' weeks and he's only just mentioning it NOW??? No wonder he is having TIA's and heart trouble. I am sure that he thinks that if he just ignores it, maybe it will go away? Criminy. SO they have him on a diuretic and the DC'd all the meds that might be causing his allergic reactions. He seems to be stable for the evening. This means I can take a couple of benedryl and go to bed and actually sleep.

On a more light hearted note, there is the subject of Blakes new/old car. He was given an old Mazda 323. It was fairly beat up but runs pretty good! So Skyler and Andrew came over today to help him paint his car...

Tidbits on the fly

Ok so...
Dad has a TIA (mini Stroke)
Brother bogues out and gets hammered at local bar. Must come back to Oregon from Rhode Island due to inability to function in society and actually take care of dad's needs.
I fly out - emergency style - to take his place.
Dad gets hospitalised for pneumonia.
I pack up 75% of his house for the move from RI to here.
I get dad installed in rehab facility and come home.
Work for a week.
Today:
Dad gets re-hospitalised for allergic reaction to meds.
I get new tixx to fly back there for two weeks starting the week following Easter.
So...after a ghastly week at work what am I doing tonight?

Prometheus and Bob!

The Last Debate of the Decade

I really hate to get into these sorts of philosophical debates that modern college students are so fond of. I also detest it when the debate comes down to the existence of God and His input in our world.

I believe that I can NOT make anybody change their belief system if they have no desire to.
Their spirituality is between them and God.

Likewise, this is MO OWN personal blog.
If I want to write about God here, its my business, and I don't feel the need to defend God.
He is more than capable of defending Himself -ya know, being God and all - and He doesn't need my help.

I also don't expect to be called stupid for having had experiences with my God and writing about them on my own blog.

Having said all this, I would like to take time to answer a series of letters I have rec'd from a good friend regarding this God I speak of.

My friend's sentiments are very commonly held among "educated people" and as is also common among "educated people" there is only a little bit of truth to the notions implied.

So I will paste snippets from my friend's letter and then my responses to them, so that nobody need ever bug me about it again. Every one will know where I stand and they can choose to delete my blog from the list of places they visit , or they can read on.

I am not here to thump anybody over the head , but likewise, I will not change my views unless given VERY good information and a reliable tracking of such information.
I haven't yet seen it, from the intelligencia of the world, or anyone else.
Conversely, I have very good reasons to believe.


My friend writes:

Mishehl, if God can do anything, why can't he still do all of his good will without all this pain?
<>
i just know that i could do a better job than this. and i'm just a human. how can that be? how can there only be one way of doing things? This is the same god who killed his own Son Jesus cause he couldn't think of any other way to cure sins.



My response:

First of all, I would counter that last question you asked with one of myown:

"how can there only be one way of doing things?"

Why would there be MORE than one way?
Why?


Frankly, as horrible and evil as the world has become, in a small, strange way I am glad He has let things go on as long as He has.
I mean, He could have put an end to this all so very long ago, but if He had, then I would be rotting in hell which is what I would deserve for the choices I have made, and any angry or lustful thots I have ever entertained.
I am glad that He gave me time to find Him So that He could change me from the inside out.

I am imperfect.

Originally humans were designed for perfection and eternity,
but we allowed ourselves to be told that we were better than God,
we allowed ourselves to believe that we are the masters of our own lives.
We allowed ourselves to think that we could be like God,
and the result of such choices was imperfection imputed to all mankind through Adam/Eve.

My choices are imperfect, and as a result my life is imperfect.
I was born bearing the taint of the original transgression.

I was born imperfect.
I came out screaming and crying.
When I was two I had temper tantrums.
Not because my environment trained that into me.
I was just born that way.
But God is not willing that any imperfect person should perish, but that even the most Vile-evil-swine-monster have a chance to see the error of their ways and to understand the reasons He was willing to sacrifice His own Son : so that the most vile could have a chance to be changed, down to the very roots of their heart.
He does not reckon the vilest sinner as any worse than the secretary who snitches a post-it note pad from the office.
He does not reckon one atrocity as more offensive than another.
All are imperfections.
He designed us originally, to be perfect. Because of His nature, He cannot reside with imperfection - its the old "Dog Poop In The Brownies***" analogy.
(***See botton of this post if you haven't heard it before. )

Whether there is a little imperfection or alot, matters not.
Its' there, so the whole person is ruined/tainted.
I cannot change myself and neither can you.
No one can change their inner nature permanently.
Your life is just like mine in that regard. And so is everyone who's ever been born..
There is no such thing as good deeds done by humans. At least not the kind that "Win Points" for one with God. We can not earn our way to a right relationship with God and a regenerated heart/nature. Its just the taint -whether a little or alot. (again with the Dog Poop Brownie story) It's not because we are made badly - but because all life is tainted by original sin. Its why there are zits and the flu and cancer.
Its why flowers die and things decay.

i swear i could think up better ways of doing things if I were god,

You are not alone in your sentiments.
When Satan lived with God - he was called Lucipher then - he was created as one of the most beautiful beings.
In Him were the giftings of beauty and song.
He lead the ANGELS to sing.
He began to look at himself and see/percieve his own value more highly than he ought.
He became consumed with pride and arrogantly said to himself that He could become like the Most High - that in fact he WOULD become the Most High.
That is when He became truly ugly and vile. His nature turned to pleasing him self. Self came first. Self self self. He "believed in himself."
Much like we humans. When we think of our selves inaccurately we become arrogant and vile, thinking that it is more important to serve our own needs and have things our way first..

and yet i'm not and everyday lately has hurt so much and i just don't understand why a good and divine god is choosing this for me. And the best answer God gives us when Job complains for similar reasons is just that "well i'm God -- who are you? sit down and shut up."


No that is not His answer.

His answer is "come to ME all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest."
Its not "and I might give you rest," it is a definite statement and a promise.

Having said all that, for someone to come to Him, they have to do the following things:

-They have to believe in Him. (I mean you can't "come to" someone unless you believe they exist.)

-They have to humble themselves and drop all notions of deserving (whatever they think they deserve), notions of their own greatness, and acknowledge their inability to change their imperfection to perfection under their own power. The fact is, do I deserve Hell and death? Yes. Do I have better? Then I need to get over myself, and let God do what He wants in me, to me and through me.

-They have to be willing to trust.

These are not religious do's and don'ts, these are just simple facts that you could apply to any loving relationship.
You can't be arrogant and loving.
You can't be arrogant and a true friend to some one.
It just doesnt work. Its the same thing in a relationship with God.
One has to be open, honest, vulnerable and true.

When a person truly admits their 100% neediness to the point when they are heart broken by it, then a place-a new freedom- is opened up in their heart that God can fit His loving hand into and begin to remake. He scoops out the crap (a painful process) and then He can heal the cracked vessel only AFTER we LET Him in to heal, THEN he can begin to fill the vessel with good things. It is better to humble ones self in honesty than to wait to be humiliated by a loving Creator who knows we need to get to that humble place before we can truly excel.

I suppose one difference is that there is a kind of "belief" that is more than mere mental assent.
I mean, I believe in George Washington.
I know he existed.
Can I talk to him today?
No.
Would I trust him to heal my child or my father, or intervene in a situation at work?
No, and for obvious good reason. :o)
There is another, deeper belief that goes along with mental assent.
This is one of the ways that belief in George Washington is different than belief in God.
I can talk to Him, He does hear, He does answer and He does act.
Alot of the time He says "no Michelle, I don't think you really want that" or "just be patient, I've got something going on there that is bigger than you and you can't understand it right now, but you will eventually, when you get here with me." (He says this to me because I often ask for things that are either selfish, or that I haven't thought out. I guess for an illustration, I would say...it's like I am driving a highway. Trees line the road on both sides. There are hills and valleys and ALOT of curves. Sometimes, other people or circumstances are 'driving' ahead of me and I percieve them as being in my way - and some times they are indeed an obstacle.
God is in a helicopter over head.
He can see around the curves and over the top of the hills and he can tell me when and when not to try to pass these people.
If I go on my own, I risk not knowing whats ahead. Sometimes I may never know, but much is at stake and I am not willing to gamble.

The kind of belief I am talking about is the kind that has shoe-leather to it - it is like an otherworldly belief that comes from making the choice to humbly trust, and wait and see.
Future faith ,and the ease with which it is flexed, is based upon practical application of this "trust and wait and see" activity, rather than blind faith.
Blind faith is not faith.
It is just wishful thinking, and is a waste of energy, imho.

I am a goal oriented person.
I like trackable reults.
If I put a seed in the dirt, I have a relatively good reason to believe that it will grow if I do my part, by watering it and feeding it etc.
Do I make the seed grow?
No.
Can I see its innermost workings down under the soil?
No.
Do I have faith that it will grow?
Yes.
Why?
Because past experience has taught me as much.

It is the same kind of faith that fuels my ability to let God have His way so that things get done in my life.
No I am not always happy. I am not freakin Polly Anna, but I know that any setback is not permanent - not because of me or any great faith excersized on my part, but based upon what I know and have experienced with regard to who God is and His nature.

It comes from telling myself that I don't know everything, and that, if left to my own devices, my world would become "The Lord of The Flies" reality show.
It all started by taking the simple choice to try to trust, and humbly watch, patiently...just try it Michelle...what if God really did care? WHat if you really didn't owe Him anything and what if you really don't have anything to lose? What if...? And I did. And it has lead to a wild adrenaline rush of a rollercoaster life that I would have missed out on had I not tried. Other people have peaceful, uneventful lives. Godly lives. Thats what I thought my life was suppsed to look like too. God said to me. "Oh get real! You need a challenge! You need a party, girl! You need adrenaline and energy and no dull moments. You need to live out the weirdness I gave you, because I like you this way!"

So I humbled myself (still wrestle with that!) and just asked myself the simple question..." What if...?"
It has made all the difference in my life.
:o)

But humility is unpopular, and it is impossible to be humble 100% of the time.
I will NEVER conquer it until I am dead.
And people want too much to believe in themselves.
That will lead them no where.
Thats not an imaginative statement.
I mean all you have to do is look around at people, both "In the Faith" and out of it.
When any one of us is unsurrendered to God, our life hurts. (If course life also hurts a bit when we are surrendered because that is the nature of things here at the moment.The difference is that we gain peace and a thrill when we know we will see God's hand work it out one way or another in ways that we can't possibly have influence.)
Things bother us and we feel depressed, hurt or angry, which is a natural out working of putting our own ideas ahead of Gods.
Humans are created beings.
How can the creation compete intellectually with The Creator?
No way.
I would not be so arrogant as to think I could compete with God intellectually and demand that He give account of Himself to me.
Might as well paint me red and call me Satan.
;o)
heheh.

God is a God of paradoxes it would seem
Its one of the things I love about Him.
As a human in my current state, I find it difficult to grasp that, what I consider to be two completely opposite things/ideas which can not possibly co-exist at the same time, I find that with God, they can and often do. I can not often understand how this can be, but it does happen in the spiritual realm.
I guess you can say that I am not afraid of the spiritual side of the universe. I was once a practicing witch. It taught me enough to know that there is only death and sadness and vileness in a life spent outside of a daily relationship with God.It also taught me that, while I am in a right relationship with God, through Christ, all the forces of evil are no match of the Creator. Yes, they can cause people to hate me. Yes they can cause people to abuse or torture or kill me, but that is the only power they have.

Humans were created for eternity.
That is why broken relationships hurt.
That is why death is such a horrid thing.
Relationships are broken and we are built for eternal relationships.

At the proper time, this WILL all end.
The sheep and the goats will be seperated.
Some who thought they were Godly will find out they missed the whole point and spread woe through out humanity while here.
They will recieve the same reward as Satan and all of his host.
No one deserves that either. Hell was not built for humanity, and God does not send them there. People choose to go all by them selves when they reject the payment that was given in their place - the sacrificing of His own Son.
He imparts the perfection of His own Son onto us, so that His deepest desire can be realised -"that none should perish."


The Dog Poop Brownie Story;

A girl and her friend were making brownies one day while dad sat at the table reading the newspaper. They assembled all the ingredients and were mixing and stuff. In the meantime, they were talking. The first girl said to her friend, "Well I don't believe that God would send me to Hell. I mean I am basically a good person - oh sure I'm not perfect, but nobody is. I don't kill anybody, and I try to be nice and do good things. What is up with this whole Jesus thing?"

The other girl sought to answer her friend and they got into a deep theological discussion regarding original sin and man's inability to save himself. Dad got up from the table and went outside for a while. The girls prepared the baking pan and preheated the oven. Dad came back in with a little box. He went over the the drawer and got out a little teaspoon.

He sat back down at the table.

The first girl asked, "what's in the box?"

He held it out for her. The overwhelming aroma of dog poop filled her nostrils. She wrinkled up her nose and said, "ugh! What are you doing with that?!"

He ignored her question but went on to speak:

"There are alot of "good people" in the world, but you are right, nobody is perfect.

And we have to be.

God is perfect.

In the book of Mattew, the bible tells us that "we are to be perfect, even as our Father in Heaven is perfect."

Can you do that?
No, and I can't either.
It's just like you said.
Nobody can.
But because God is completely perfect, He can't have anything around him that is marred or imperfect in any way - no matter how good they appear to be, or try to be while they are in the flesh.

This means that God has a huge problem.

He wants us ALL to be with Him for all eternity.
He created each one of us differently because He wanted to spend all of eternity with some one just like me, and like you and like each one us. Because sin and death have come into the world making everything created imperfect ,he can't be around us.

It breaks His heart.

Anything that is imperfect must be destroyed.
But He doesn't want to do that.
Still, the nature of God and the Nature of the Universe are immutable and 'facts is facts.'
So no matter how good a person is, they are not perfect, and God can't have a relationship with them."

The dad scoops out a teaspoon of the dog poop and plops it into the brownies, as the horrified girls protest.

He goes on:

"Ok. I think its time to bake the brownies."

The second girl says, "What??!!! Are you crazy? What are you doing! We can't bake these now!"

The dad answers, "Why not? I mean it's mostly good in there. Oh sure its not perfect, but ...?"

The girls look at the brownies and then at dad, the sudden light of understanding coming on behind their eyes.

Dad speaks,

"Its like that with God.
He is perfect.
He can't have imperfection around Him.
Not even a tiny bit.
It has to all be removed.
But fortunately for Him (and us) He has come up with His own solution:
He will send His own Son, in effect coming to earth Himself, and He will undergo all of the trials and ugliness of this world that we encounter, and He will not make any mistakes. He will live our perfect life for us, and then He will permit His own blood to be spilled, on our behalf, taking all of our imperfections on Himself, so that He can undergo our punishment/destruction for us. This will reverse the problem and once He has made this transaction, God will put His Son's perfect life on us, and the payment for the imperfection will be complete.
The imperfection will be removed as far as God is concerned.

No matter how "good" we try to be, we can't be perfect.
We are like the dog poop brownies.

God loves us, but not our imperfection so He must get rid of it, while keeping us.
Imperfection must be destroyed and He must remake us from scratch.

This is what He has done and you don't have to jump through any hoops.
You just have to trust and believe.

Things and junk

Well the girls did well on the first day of their lenten sacrifice.
Scout almost used a spoon today to stir her coffee, and she ate her breakfast cereal with a fork and then drank the milk afterward.

MacKenzie is reading instead of playing Club Penguin on the computer, and seems happy about it.

I am hoping to be able to get into the beta version of Joost (Skype product) but for the time being I will satisfy my curiousity by messing about with YouTube.
I would like to post Blake and Andrew's Videos (aka Blandrew-mations) there.
The whole crew is trooping off to Mitchell Oregon (aka "Wanna-Be-Ghost-Town") this summer for a two week shoot of some script they have been collaborating on for a couple of months.
It is good to see them put some real planning into a project and have a proper crew assembled.
I think they are hoping for another SHS Film Festival contender for Spring 2008.

Anyway.
Not much goes on around here today.
Snow came down and was pretty. I am glad because I am not ready for winter to be finished.
I haven't added my latest recipe to Eating Plebian and am feeling a bit remiss (sorry Blue).
I have been editing some of the MP Flying Circus episodes so that they are "kid friendly, " so that my youngest can enjoy the glory that is Python at an early age.
Give 'em a good start I always say!
Although I am sure people at the church and the Christian school would argue that our family is already butt-weird enough.
On the contrary, I think that the majority of them are far too "cookie-cutter" for my tastes.
:o/
:o)
;o)

Good thing I am not God.
Good thing they aren't either.
I suppose its a good thing that None of us is God.
And I am glad He is good.

Lent

Normaly I associate giving up food, when it comes to sacrificing something at Lent.
But no....as usual the girls come up with other things.
MacKenzie and her freind have decided that they are giving up The Computer and ice cream for Lent.
And then there is Scout who has decided to pick something simple and meanignful.

She has decided to give up spoons.

This should be an interesting Season.

Moving and Spelling

So Scout has now got the bug to move to Wales.
I said, "Good Scout. You want to talk about spelling bee difficulties? You don't get any vowels there! Try that out." She answered with, "yeah but I can learn Welsh in any local pub!"

Thats my girl! Always finding the positive.

And all the while MacKenzie is wailing, "no no, I don't want to move. WE live in a puny and pathetic town and I like it that way. All my friends are here and I will never see them again."

"So", says I, "you'll make lots of new ones. You're good at making friends, and besides, that the UK is the soccer capital of the world."

She remained unimpressed.

Oh well.