Of Panic and Peace

Well, today is my daughter's last day in the US for many days.

It will be the first time she has left the country with out me.

She is travelling by car, in the company of her da, his friend and friend's son.

She leaves to volunteer in spring-cleaning and childcare at an orphanage in Mexico. It is a wonderfully safe place. My fear is more for her on the trip down and back, travelling only with males - I mean, who is going to scope out the womens rest rooms for her at the rest areas along the highway?? What about once they cross the border?



She is so excited.

More excited than I have seen her in a very long time.

This was her idea to go.

She has expressed desires to be a missionary some day in India.

While secretly thinking "That's nice," it was in a long list of "things I want to be when I grow up." Since she rarely gets this outwardly excited about things (being an internal sort of personality), when she said in all sincerity, that she REALLY wanted to go on this trip, I vowed immediately to make sure it came to pass.

She and her dad were discussing the trip a few weeks ago, saying that they would be leaving on Thursday early and coming back on Tuesday, late.

I thought, "hmmm, that's a quick trip. Maybe it is just a weekend work party?"

So I was prepared for her to be gone a week.

I found out last night that they will not be returning until the 8th of Feb.

So now I am un-prepared.

Today is my last day with her for a very long time.

I was unprepared to be this weirded out.



I think it is weirding her out too:



Normally she is awake and ready for school by 6am.

She likes the quiet privacy of the house in the morning, to get her thoughts together, without all the noise and bother of siblings and people.

Well this morning, she was up as usual and ready, but she hung out with the whole family for the whole morning instead of reading and what not.

I think the scope of the whole trip kinda settled over her this morning.



So the secret gifts I got for her, which would have allowed for one each day, she will now have to open one every other day.

I wrote notes on postcards, and little treats, and small trinkety presents wrapped up in six packages. She loves Happy Bunny, so I got her some little Happy Bunny thingies among the prizes. I will hide them in her backpack and suitcase tonight after she goes to bed- hey! I should hide one of the presents down in the toe of her sleeping bag!

Heheh!

That should be fun.



Anyway, I hate when my kids are beyond my help. It is unnerving to think of things that can happen, and know that I am too far away.



That is when I remember - and must exert energy to remind myself:



God loves her more than I ever could.

She is more precious to Him than to me - as difficult as that is for me to imagine.

He is able to take waaaaay better care of her than I ever could anyway.

So I have to let go, and trust Him to flatten the bumps in the road before she encounters them.



This is going to be a faith-growing time for Scout.

This is going to be a faith-growing time for me.



I straddle a fence; panic on one side and peace on the other.



Ugh!