So in the week following her completion of school, and before the actual commencement
ceremonies, Scout has moved to PDX to live with Blake, James and Jeremy, (brother, and friends from Camp).
Worrisome bits:
-She is in the exact middle of change of medications, the effects of change should be showing up anytime now.
-She has never driven in the city. And certainly not on any of the freeways.
-Can become overwhelmed and over tired with too much change going on. I don't know that Blake will be able to recognise the signs of her overload. I barely can.
-The boys are all pretty chaotic. She needs some sort of order.
-She will either share a bedroom with her brother, or won't get one at all (pending). She needs a bit of private time.
-Needs a job.
-Almost got run off the road yesterday because she refused to merge and allow another car in between hers and mine. Repeatedly. In excess of 60 mph. I hope she doesn't get in a car accident. She really has no experience driving on freeways.
When Blake first moved to Portland, he stayed with camp friends, but they were all living with one boys family. (Mom Dad etc) I knew he was going to be fed at least 1 square meal a day and have a safe environment. This is different. Not that Blake, James and JEremy are unsafe - they are safe - but they are 20-23 yr olds. Every minute of every day is one big adventure, and if not, they make it into one. Even yesterday, going to get a simple hair cut turned into a hilarious, spontaneous media-esque event. Scout needs some "down time" at some point, or she will 'pop'. (Especially in the midst of a med change from Zoloft to Selexa.)
I hate this "worry" part of the transition.
ADDENDUM:
I had a lengthy texting conversation with Bryan today. Bryan is a long time friend and a dad. During the course of this convo I came to the conclusion that I am only just small. I should remain alert and yet at the same time, knowing that although I adore my kids, God loves them FAR more and dude! HE is able to be EVERYWHERE. I sure can't. So I have to trust. And pray, and just remain open and available.
Ugh!
I don't want any (ANY!) of "My Kids" (tm) to experience unnecessary pain or discomfort.
(Are "My Kids" (tm) hearin' me?!)
And yet...such is the stuff of normal life.
So I pray.
If all else fails, it is just a few hours' drive away. I don't know the others but Blake should take care of her. I take care of my sister. :)
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine. Prayers in the offing.
ReplyDelete@ Rium+ - oh yeah Blake is an an excellent big brother. And even though they aren't "blood" James and Jeremy are very much like big brothers to my girls as well. I have just decided I have to suck it up and get over myself. I can't be there for their whole lives. I have to remind myself that no matter how much i adore my kids, God loves them even more and I have to mentally/emotionally/practically place them "In His Hands", so to speak. They will take care of her, but I hope also, that she will LET them.
ReplyDelete:o)
Oh Shmoopie... I know it's hard to let our little chicks leave the nest, but I look back and the mistakes I made and the hard times I endured are the fibers of the stuff I am made of now. Those little trials are what make us strong even though they seem like the end of the world in the moment they are happening to us.
ReplyDeleteYou're a great Mom and you have already given her the tools she need to be successful. She knows that she has a mommy who loves her and is there for her if she needs you. Hold her up to the light and she will shine... reminder her always that you believe in her and she will believe in herself.